Dari kerana mata...

"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death." - Earl Wilson I feel courageous today upon receiving the news of my grandmother's health condition. She is the mother I grew up with. So yes, that is the feeling.

"You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine." ~ Yvaine, Stardust (2007) I am reading Stardust... <3

Assalamualaikum, On this peaceful Friday, I'd like to share a beautiful article by Yasmin Mogahed . In denial stage, it is our nature to blame. We either blame ourselves or others - some would even blame Allah. But blame only makes us more miserable. And what's worse, it is like a huge wall between us and acceptance that would allow us to think clearly and see the light. I learnt this lesson from La Tahzan few years back during my denial stage. It was a wakeup call. Apa yang berlaku bukan kerana apa yang kita buat atau tidak buat. Jika itu yang telah tertulis dalam lembaran takdir kita, buat lah apa pun, nothing will change. Allah doesn’t need any reason. Ini kerana sifat Allah yang harus. Harus bagi Allah melakukan atau meninggalkan sesuatu mengikut kehendak dan kudrat-Nya, yang langsung tidak dipengaruhi oleh sesiapapun. Allah bebas melakukan atau menjadikan sesuatu tanpa disebabkan oleh sesuatu peraturan atau tidak melakukannya. "Dan Tuhanmu menciptakan apa yang diranca...

Assalamualaikum, Setiap hari mesti berazam untuk jadi lebih baik. Setiap hari mesti ada keinginan untuk hijrah diri ke arah yang lebih baik. Di samping tu, mesti juga berdoa semoga dari keinginan tu datangnya tekad yang ikhlas terhadap Allah. Semoga Allah buka jalan-jalan kebaikan untuk kita sertai dan semoga Allah kurniakan istiqamah di dalam kumpulan tersebut. Perubahan adalah sesuatu yang payah untuk dilakukan dan kita tidak boleh bertindak sendirian tanpa bantuan Allah. So have the desire NOW . You never know when you'll get the opportunity. Kita tak tahu setakat mana usia kita. Dan bila jalan hijrah itu tiba, ambillah. Just saying. Wassalam.

Waiting for the Spring by Mitsuo Aida I felt that someone was looking at me. I turned my wheelchair And found a little flower blooming there. I couldn’t do it, or I didn’t do it. I wonder which one? If you spend all your time only thinking, The sun will set. A poem for my children. It matters not the path you choose Nor the way you walk it. What matters is living that life to its fullest. Assalamualaikum, Today is exactly 30 days before my 28th birthday. That means I have 30 days left to cheer and to enjoy being 27 years young! Hahaha. I always have this weird feeling about my birthday. The feeling of taking off from a high place and fly (or maybe just free fall!). No, it is not fear. It is more to excitement, I guess. It is like feeling rush of adrenaline through me. All my life, I just want to move to the next birthday after another. Being old doesn't really bother me that much (until recently, still not that much though). I was very ambitious back then. In the world I want to be...

While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about. ~Angela Schwindt Assalamualaikum, It was a weekend full of pictures and I personally adore these pictures of Hakimi and Syifa. I feel like both of them has grow up so much and are going to leave home soon... *Teary eyes* Hahaha. That is dramatic *wink* On the other hand, maybe I'm the one who's going to leave them growing up on their own... *sigh* I feel grateful for my interest in kids’ photography. Kids are not my expertise but somehow photography helps me to deal with my fear. And I figure out that Edward is lovable and can have effect on people. Hehehe. Rather than just a hobby and madly running around capturing pictures, I am actually getting so much in return from the kids - Syifa and Hakimi and others. I thought I was teaching them to smile to laugh to act properly. But it is really them giving me lesson through the small lens. Precious life lesson. Hakimi is a polite, timid ...

Assalamualaikum, "Hadapilah ujian hidup dengan mencari maksud di sebalik takdir-takdir Allah. Dengarlah suara tarbiah dan dakwah yang berbisik setiap kali kita diuji. Kebaikan dan keburukan hanya ada pada penilaian insan, tetapi di sisi Allah, apa yang ditakdirkan-Nya pasti satu kebaikan" . - Prakata; Nota Hati Seorang Lelaki , Ustaz Pahrol Mohamad Juoi. Tidak ada pembuka bicara yang lebih tepat selain kata-kata di atas. Hadirnya mendahului ujian, seakan persediaan dan motivasi. Satu kenyataan yang tidak dapat dinafikan justeru memandu diri ke arah ketenangan hati. Takdir dan ujian adalah 'tema' bulan Disember. Cahaya di hujung terowong mungkin. Padahal takdir dan ujian wujud seiring usia selagi bernyawa sebelum ajal tiba. Penutup kepada tahun yang panjang sekaligus bekalan ilmu untuk tahun seterusnya. Perjalan pendek dari Pulau Pinang ke Parit Buntar amat membuka minda. Pelajarannya mungkin tidak akan didapati walaupun dalam perjalan seribu batu kalau bukan kerana iz...

Assalamualaikum, Ujian dalam hidup itu bagus. Ia mengajar kita menjadi tabah. Ia menjadi kayu pengukur kepada ketabahan yang mungkin kita miliki. Umpama langit malam yang gelap, menyerlahkan bintang-bintang yang bergemerlapan. Allah tidak pernah berbohong, kita tidak akan diuji melebihi apa yang kita mampu. Jadi bertahanlah, dan carilah kekuatan dari kata-kataNya. Islam tidak pernah mendidik umatnya untuk berputus asa. Islam juga tidak pernah mendidik umatnya untuk keterlaluan dalam melayan kesedihan. Semua yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. Mintalah pada Allah, semoga kita dapat melihat hikmah kebijaksanaanNya. Wassalam.

The ultimate test in moving on is when the moment you decide to do so, what you're letting go suddenly come flying to you. Just saying.

I watched it twice and am ready for the third :p I'd like to start this review with Edward's wedding toast: "It's an extraordinary thing to meet someone who you can bare your soul to and accept you for what you are. I've been waiting, for what seems like a very long time, to get beyond what I am. With Bella I feel like I can finally begin. So I'd like to propose a toast to my beautiful bride. No measure of time with you will be long enough. But let's start with forever." Exactly. Zero reason not to like Edward <3 The pre-wedding was cut short. Very, very short. No Mercedes S600 Guard. No breaking the news to Charlie and Renee, so no changing color Charlie and motherly advice from Renee. But the mood is there. Charlie clearly doesn't happy with the wedding and Renee on the contrary is very happy about it. Bella is nervous and Edward is anxious. But I am grateful to see Alice having fun planning the wedding. In another words, bossing everybody. Lo...

This is crazy. A total absurd. How could I let myself be in this situation? I know, I am losing my mind. Yes, that's right. Edward is one thing. But the wedding dress? And the shoes?! Thankfully, I still have some sanity in me.This is me drooling over Bella's wedding dress and shoes... Here for the shoes , Manolo Blahnik Swan Embellished Satin Pump . It cost USD 1295 ! And here for the wedding dress replica for USD 799 . Alfred Angelo is the ONLY bridal manufacturer licensed to create Bella's bridal gown... just for us!

Assalamualaikum, Zulhijjah semakin beranjak ke penghujungnya dan Muharram 1433H semakin menghampiri. Sudah tercapaikah azam 1432H dan sudahkah difikir-fikirkan azam tahun baru 1433H? "Hablumminallah Wa Hablumminannas" Hubungan baik dengan Allah dan hubungan baik dengan manusia. Aku selalu percaya kepada konsep ini. Kalau seorang manusia itu menjaga hubungannya dengan Allah dengan baik, InshaAllah, hubungannya dengan manusia pun akan baik juga. Sebaliknya, jika hubungan dengan Allah pun ala kadar, apa cerita pula dengan sesama manusia... Konsepnya sama dengan hubungan ibu dan anak seperti yang disebut dalam entri sebelum ini. Malah ini lebih penting, ini hubungan dengan Allah. Maha Pencipta. Al-Khaliq. Maha Bijaksana. Pemilik Cinta dan Kasih Sayang. Yang Abadi. Jadi apa kata bersempena dengan tahun baru 1433H yang bakal tiba (dan juga Januari 2012), kita tekadkan salah satu daripada azam kita adalah untuk memperbaiki kualiti hubungan kita dengan Allah dan sesama manusia. Walau...

“The important thing is not what we look like, but the role we play in our best friend’s life. Friends choose certain friends because that’s the kind of company they are looking for at that specific time, not because they’re the correct height, age, or have the right hair color” ― Cecelia Ahern, If You Could See Me Now I am very much thankful for each friend I have for every stage of my life. In my great time or worst. Though sometime it is hard to understand why they do what they did, I always believe that they mean no harm. They must have seen a better outcome. It's a friend's instinct to protect another friend. That's what we do - we protect our friend, from being hurt. Thank you.

"Kalau engkau jatuh Jangan engkau lemah Kerana hidup mengajar kita Jangan cepat mengalah Bina yakin diri Mampu kita lakukan Tiada yang mustahil Segalanya boleh Kita bergandingan meraikan Malaysia Gemuruh suara Jadi bangsa berjaya Gemuruh perkasa Bawah satu bendera Nama kita bina Diseluruh benua rasa bangga Genggam amanat wira Julang panji Malaysia" Assalamualaikum, [Memetik FB Sham Kamikaze] Alhamdulillah, Allah izinkan kemenangan skuad Harimau Muda di Stadium Gelora Bung Karno malam tadi... Tahniah kepada skuad Harimau Muda - kepada jurulatih, pegawai sokongan, para pemain - you guys rock! Pingat Emas acara bola sepak ini sememangnya ibu segala pingat. Terasanya macam Malaysia menang keseluruhan Sukan SEA. Terasa terbayar semua penat lelah dan berbaloi semua layanan buruk sepanjang berada di temasya Sukan SEA ke-26 di Indonesia. Skuad Harimau Muda turun umpama ke medan perang - dengan jentera serangan, pertahan, strategi, pasukan kecergasan dan Barracuda! <-- "Barrac...

"Charlie, I realize that I’ve gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don’t want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking you for her hand, I’m asking for your blessing. We’re getting married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and – by some miracle – she loves me that way, too. Will you give us your blessing?" Edward Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 1, p.15 "For just an instant, listening to the absolute confidence in his voice, I experienced a rare moment of insight. I could see, fleetingly, the way the world looked to him." Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 1, p.15 I see Bella and Edward twirling on their wedding day as I am listening to the wedding version of Iron & Wine's " Flightless Bird, American Mouth ". The book never mention their wedding song, and there would be no other songs as pe...

Assalamualaikum, Plato said: " Courage is knowing what not to fear ". We have questions, we demand for clarifications and we have the need to feed the curiosity. But would asking the questions and getting the answers make any difference? Would knowing what we want to know sufficient to our soul? How much would we sacrifice and how far we would risk for an answer? Would it worth losing as much as much it is worth winning? On the other hand, what's wrong with not knowing? What's wrong with not knowing the answer? Everything comes with a price. Are you willing to pay the amount? Can you afford it? Would you even care to check the price tag? If you have a question, if you need a clarification, if you are so curious to know, you must ask yourself - what are you getting from the answer? Take your time to think deeper and more rationale. You need to listen to your heart, but you must use your brain. Some questions are better left unspoken - because it would not make any dif...

The most anticipated wedding is just around the corner! I am frustrated for not being able to join Esme and Renee for the wedding preparation. And I am mostly sad to let Alice have all the fun by herself :p What can I say… life is a little bit too busy lately. I don’t even get the chance to follow on the progress of the movie – I don’t know the gossips or the hot stuff. I am the worst Twilighters. Sigh~ Finally, this is coming to an end – the good end. We are going to see what we’ve been imagining all this while – the wedding dress, the old comb, the wedding reception, Alice’s dress, Isle Esme… And with the confirmation of Rob and Kristen’s relationship, there are so much more to anticipate! Writing this entry with Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years” playing on the background, I have to say that Twilight is no longer about a charming vampire name Edward and a clumsy human girl named Bella falling in love with each other. It is funny when after all these years, my pe...

Assalamualaikum, The song entitles " Women I Love " by Zain Bhikha. It is such a lovely song. It touches my heart and made me cry. Women are love as a mother, a wife, a daughter and a sister. No matter how independent and strong we are, women are still delicate creature - like a fragile butterfly. And all a woman need is a guy in this song. A guy who understand that women are gift from Allah. A guy who would love, value, and cherish his mother, his wife, his daughter and his sister. I am sure you've heard this - when you're looking for a future husband, pay attention to how he value his mother. If he treats his mother well, then he is a good guy. If he doesn't, then you know... I truly agree with that statement. Why? Because I could not imagine what kind of guy that did not value a woman who gave birth to him. If he can't appreciate his mother, what is the guarantee that he would appreciate a wife and a daughter? Guys, some of you might find the statement unfa...

"If someone wants to be a part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it. So don't bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn't make an effort to stay." (Credit to Lovely Afifah for her ever inspiring FB status) Assalamualaikum, Macam sangat suka lagu " Penghujung Cintaku " ni ^_____^ Jadi entri kali ni ditujukan khas kepada semua yang telah tiba di penghujung mencari cinta; iaitu perkahwinan. I think I like this song so much because of "tiba diriku di penghujung mencari cinta" phrase. We talk more about first love, we want to experience the first love, we value first love more than anything... Anybody can have that first love. I'm done with it :p Sekarang, aku cuma mahu jadi penghujung pencarian cinta seseorang ^____^ Wassalam. Penghujung Cintaku Pasha ft. Adel Berakhir sudah pencarian cintaku Jiwa ini tak lagi sepi, hati ini tlah ada yang miliki Tiba diriku di penghujung mencari cinta Diri ini tak lagi sepi, kini ...

Assalamualaikum, "When we don’t get what we want, always remember that we ALWAYS get what we NEED." 31st October 2011, the last day of Q4'11. The end of one busy and hectic quarter - it's the end of FY'11. Pheww! "Waaa-chaaaa!" Finally done with the White Belt project - successfully submitted! This is the first time I really work on the slides and I am proud of myself ^____^ I'd like to thank Puan Lili for giving me the opportunity to join this project and for trusting me to do the documentation. And special thank to Hajjah Latifah for her guidance and patience - without her, we would be floating in a wide ocean ;) hehehe~ What we need is just one chance. "Take the Opportunity!" Yes, what we need is just one chance - to see and to show what we can do. I was given a fair opportunity and I am glad that I took it. This is the time to ask: If I could, would I do it my best? "Gwaenchanseumnida" As my diary run out of pages, I bought a ...

"And words are all I have To take you heart away...." Assalamualaikum, Say what you mean and mean what you say. That is my policy. I feel that it is a waste of breath to say something you never mean and I do have issue with people who say stuff they never really mean. Big issue, huge. On top of my assassination list is the people who is totally aware that they don't mean a crap of what they say and they say it just for their own convenient. They are the manipulator. If sugar is sweet, they are far sweeter than that. Insulin can't neutralize them. They can easily deny whatever said and call it a misunderstood. Next - a type of human being who is brave enough to say something, to provoke or to give hints, and but later become a coward over their own words. This kind of people usually doesn’t explain - they don't say that it was a misunderstood; they don't even say that they mean no harm. They made it like that nothing happened and just turn around 180 degrees an...

Assalamualaikum, While watching "Eat, Pray, Love", I thought I have never find myself so trap that I need to travel around the world in search for peace. I mean I do travel. But I travel towards family and friends, not opposite of them. Family and friends are my source of energy. They keep me balanced. I don't know what will happen without them. Being around them (family and friends) reminded me to people who treasure me; sincerely need me in their life and relying on me. They remind me that as much as I want to give up living and break down alone in a corner, I have people and hearts to consider. I have responsibility to fulfill. And the most important thing - I already have the greatest love of the world. Let's forget the sadness in our heart. Put a period into it. Life is an adventure and let’s takes this challenge. If you can't stay, if you can't find the exit door here, find Liz in yourself and go further in your search. Never ever give up. Note: ...

Assalamualaikum, One of the ways to handle messiness in life is by organizing anything tangible around it. It is better compare to retail therapy (which can make you broke) or comfort food (which can make you fat). I need fresh air for my mind to works at maximum speed and to get fresh air, I need a very clear, organized and clean space. I could not think properly in topsy-turvy environment. This is similar to Kinki in " Needing You.. ." or Elizabeth Egan in " If You Could See Me Now ". Both Kinki and Elizabeth have the tendency to deal with their life issue by scrubbing the floor and rearranging their stuff. When I 'meet' Kinki, I am too young to have issue in my life and when I bump into Elizabeth, I already have too many issue to deal with :p I like the metaphor behind this act. Life is messy, so we arrange it. Life is stuffy, so we clear it. Life is too much on you, you scrub it sparkly clean! Any therapy - going for [window]shopping, eating our fa...

Assalamualaikum, Our heart always has something that she desires. But we don't usually get what we want. Instead, we get what we need. And, what we want is not necessarily what we need. It could get twisted there and when it does, it gives our heart a hard time. The hardest part is to see it coming and to accept the fact that you are not getting what you expect to get. The second hardest thing is to let it go. They say it all started with a dream, but sometime we would wish to have never fallen asleep... Now that would be a silly mistake. Instead of wishing the past never happen, it is better to focus on what's happening today. The future is not ours to see. So we should use every precious time we plan to spend worrying about future, by living well and by putting effort for a better tomorrow. The constant pain, the uneasy feeling, the heartbreak, it will eventually subside and will go away. What's not ours is not ours. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Accept it an...

Assalamualaikum, Hujan lebat malam tadi buat aku teringatkan Tok dan kehidupan ketika di kampung, Kedai Empat. Rumah tempat aku dibesarkan adalah sebuah rumah pusaka dengan suasana kampung. Bukan macam rumah kampung sekarang yang bersuasana moden, laman rumah Tok tidak diturap. It's dirt. Kalau berhadapan dengan musim hujan, ataupun hujan sepanjang minggu, pasti halaman rumah jadi becak / lecak ('lecah' mengikut setempat). Jadi papan-papan disusun dari tangga rumah merentasi kawasan tengah halaman ke kawasan yang lebih kering. Masa bersekolah rendah aku menaiki basikal. Biasanya bila sampai ke sekolah mesti ada kesan lumpur di mana-mana bahagian baju aku. Pernah juga gara-gara tergopoh-gapah, terus slide dengan basikal ke dalam lumpur. Hahahaha. Kemudian bila bersekolah menengah, lain pula ceritanya... Masalahnya sekarang ialah kasut sekolah aku selalu comot dengan lumpur. Tok selalu kata aku ni cemerkap dan tidak hati-hati melintasi titi di tengah halaman. Sebagai penyeles...

Assalamualaikum Bismillahhirrahmanirrahim Alhamdulillahhirabbil'alamin Semoga Allah pertemukan kita dengan Ramadhan yang seterusnya.... Wassalam.

"Sesungguhnya engkau (wahai Muhammad) tidak berkuasa memberi hidayah pertunjuk kepada sesiapa yang engkau kasihi (supaya ia menerima Islam), tetapi Allah jualah yang berkuasa memberi hidayah pertunjuk kepada sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya (menurut undang-undang peraturanNya) dan Dialah jua yang lebih mengetahui akan orang-orang yang (ada persediaan untuk) mendapat hidayah pertunjuk (kepada memeluk Islam)." (Al-Qasas; 56) Assalamualaikum, Hidayah itu milik Allah. Hatta Rasulullah sendiri meminta kepada Allah, apatah lagi kita... Aku jadi risau melihat komen-komen serta kecaman sesama umat Islam sejak akhir-akhir ini. Memanglah, hati dan mata sakit. Memanglah, kita yang tahu perlu untuk menyampaikan kepada yang kurang tahu, lebih lagi kepada yang tidak tahu. Kita menyampaikan kekecewaan, kita memberi teguran. Tapi semuanya ada cara yang lebih baik dari sudut pandangan Islam. Bila seorang hamba Allah lain tidak mengamalkan cara hidup Islam, sepatutnya kita fikirkan kemung...

The long awaited and most anticipated reunion ever - Jung Yonghwa and Seohyun - finally sang their Banmal Song together! My heart not just skip a beat or two, she jumps out of my chest. I was all nervous for my coming presentation this Wednesday, but the moment I watch the videos, everything seems a-okay. Their memories still bring good things in my life ^____^ It is heart crushing to see Yong and Hyun positioned so far from each other and took until the end of the song to be together. The production team really know how tease the fans. Hate you guys for that :P The moment they walk down the stairs, we can hear the audiences' enthusiast scream. It is very much understandable that we are all ache to see them together one more time. So when Yong and Hyun finally walk towards each other and hold hands, everything feels perfect. We even love the bumping-each-other scene at the end of the performance ^____^ Everybody notice their awkwardness. This is Yonghwa and Seohyun we are ...

Assalamualaikum, I'd like to dedicate below song to all my friends. I am not sure whether any of them read my blog, but if they do, I'd like to convey how precious they are to me. Thank you, for being there for me in my best or worst. I feel like a little distance started to form between us. We are too busy sorting our life with so limited time and too many parties to attend to. No matter where you are, No matter how less the time we spent together, No matter how busy we are even for a SMS, No matter how occupied we are even for exchanged of news, No matter how bad we fight, No matter how we don't talk anymore, No matter what happen, I hope we'll always have each other~ Wassalam. Count On Me by Bruno Mars If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea I'll sail the world to find you If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see I'll be the light to guide you Find out what we're made of What we a...