Tuesday, September 28, 2010

So Much For a Happy Song


A moment ago, I just realized that my folder contains gigantic amount of sad songs. Sad love songs. Tragic sad songs. Ohmigosh.

What kind of person I was?
What kind of life I had?
My... my... my...
With this kind of collection, even Olay Total Effect that fight 7 signs of ageing could not help. Lines, lines, lines!

So I begin rummaging the entire collection for decent, motivational, happy songs that could enlighten my soul. Was that only 15% of the entire collection? Disastrous, ‘Aini! Among these 15%, lots of them actually a motivational breakup songs and a whole lot more which was not in that 15% is about love (between men and women). How pathetic is that.

We can't even write happy songs that does not include that kind of love. Sad... very, very sad.

I don't want to feel happy listening to fairy tales of love. Teetttt! Not even my story.
I don't want to be happy over bouncing back and moving on after a terrible breakup! Another teeettttt!
Ya ya ya. “It’s love that makes the world turn around”. Not just love between men and women.

I am starting my list of happy, motivational songs that have zero connection to love (between men and women). Please suggest me some songs. I would really appreciate that.

There are so many happy occurrences in life and love could be defined widely.Tell me about friendship, tell me about children, and tell me about this colorful world.


When Blair Waldorf Cry


Blair cried during Dorota's wedding in Gossip Girl Season 3 episode last night. She broke off with tears when Cyrus announce the happy couple whom happen to be Blair and Chuck, to walk the aisle and accompany the bride and bridegroom as a part of the traditional Russian wedding.

Blair said that she and Chuck was not a happy couple. They should not bring bad luck to Dorota and Vanya. Blair hated the person she has become when she love Chuck -- too much. She hated it.

Watching Blair crying like that, letting Chuck go... stepping away from her life... admitting that the one love she wanted and fight for was not a happy story... it broke my heart. Blair is mean. But she's just another girl.

[Dorota said: "I don't need you to be a happy couple. I just need you to be happy". Yes. ]

Everybody has the right
to be happy.
to choose a path that makes them happy.
to give second chance, many time.
to forgive.
to forget.
to move on.
to stay and to longed.
to believe lies.
to tell lies.
to be hurt.
to hurt.
to hate and only hate.
to love and love still.
to live well.to be a better person.


Monday, September 27, 2010

Erk Variables!


Explanation sometimes could make things more complicated. Silence on the other hand could suggest misunderstanding. Questions could lead to irritation and answers might hurt others.

If I were to give attention to all these, I'm so getting grey hairs on my next birthday!
Life contains variables, a lot of them swarm around me and you. It’s unfair but you have to accept it.I sound selfish, yes I am. But sometime being selfish is required so that none of us have to see a shrink or end up in a morgue.


Thursday, September 23, 2010



Pada mulanya lagu Hanyut ni macam ada jiwa yang sama dengan lagu Cuba. A guy is trying to say something and he keenly asking for attention. Tapi bila dah dengar hampir 13 ribu kali, Hanyut macam the opposite of Cuba, bila dengar lagi 100 kali, rasa macam Hanyut ni jawapan kepada Cuba (^____^)v

Tak pasti lelaki dalam lagu ni hanyut dalam erti kata macam mana.
Hanyut dalam erti kata tidak setiakah, hanyut dalam erti kata kurang ekspresif tentang perasaankah, hanyut dalam erti kata mengabaikan dengan urusan lainkah..

Anyway, seems like after series of hanyut, this guy finally realized what he's going to miss or what he already lost. Dah insaf lah kot. [A perfect song for a guy like this is "I Learnt from the Best" by Whitney Houston]

Dipendekkan cerita, lelaki dalam lagu ni boleh dimaafkan. Sekurang-kurangnya dia sedar dan mengakui semuanya berpunca daripada sesi hanyut tersebut dan dia minta maaf.

Tapi 1:
'Aini boleh maafkan lelaki macam ni. Tapi nak terima semula susah sikit kot. Bergantung kepada apakah sesi hanyutnya...

Tapi 2:
Lelaki dalam lagu ni ada pilihan.
You don't have to be a guy who sings this song.
You don't have to be a guy who has the possibility to sings this song.
You don't have to be a guy who may have to sings this song.

If you are in a situation to sing this, sing it from your sincere heart, once and only once.

My favorite part:
"Saat mata terpejam
Hanya kau ku terbayang
Menghapus semua segala rasa di jiwaku
Saat mata terbuka
Kamulah yang pertama
Tak mampu aku
Hidup tanpa dirimu


Faizal Tahir

Harus bagaimana lagi
Dan terus begini
Dengarkan aku
Lihat ke mataku

Cukup sudah kau menghukum
Salahku tetap salahku
Benarkan ku berbicara
Agar bisa pulih semua

Namun harus sampai bila
Kau kan diam seribu bahasa

Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu
Fahamilah ku tak mampu terus tanpa kamu
Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila tiada mengganti
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja

Saat mata terpejam
Hanya kau ku terbayang
Menghapus semua segala rasa di jiwaku

Saat mata terbuka
Kamulah yang pertama
Tak mampu aku
Hidup tanpa dirimu

Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu
Fahamilah ku tak mampu terus tanpa kamu
Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila tiada mengganti
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja

Aku memang bersalah
Selalu saja mengabaikan mu
Dan tapi dah ku sedari
Segala perit kau lalui
Ku terlupa kau terluka

Dan memang selalu
Aku bersalah
Selalu saja mengabaikan mu
Meninggalkan mu
Dan tetapi itulah aku sedari
Segala perit yang kau lalui
Kerna diriku yang terus hanyut

Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu
Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila tiada mengganti
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja

Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila kau tak di sisi
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Shoes and More Shoes


I need a new pair of high heels.
Nothing is wrong with my current high heels.
Oh one pair needs to see the cobbler ASAP and I keep forgetting that.
I'm wearing my break-up high heels most of the time now and that feels quite wrong.
Nothing is wrong with my break-up high heels, too, other than being cream in color. So you can guess how many outfits match that.
[Aha! I have a break-up high heel. Ask me if you want to know :p]

Anyway, I think this is just me giving myself an excuse for more high heels. I plan to get myself a pair of gladiators or stilettos. The idea seems harmless but the moment I saw them, they look so dangerous. Hahaha. I think I'm going to skip that. On the other hand, a pair of flat is always decent. My main problem is to find cute, comfortable and practical flats. A cute but uncomfortable and unpractical flats or hideous but comfortable and practical flats won't do for me. (^___^)v

I used to have only one pair of footwear; be it flats or high heels. I couldn't understand why I need more than one pair of footwear. Now see how that fate twisted back on me, though not completely. I still manage to maintain a decent amount of footwear.

When your high heels starts biting, and no cobbler or cushion could fix that, it is time to find a new pair~
I wish a lot of things in life are as simple as that.


Sunday, September 19, 2010

What's on the Net


I... found something on the net... a dedication... from year 2007...

I... didn't recall anything about it... it never appear in my search result before...

I... want to thank the writer... I do, but I can't... I shouldn't...

Thank you.

I cheerish those moment and I think you know that.
I wish it never appear in my search result.


Saturday, September 18, 2010

Monochromatic Passion


There’s not much color to explain my latest passion. It is merely black and white and some grays. But yes, it’s more than enough to melt my heart.
I love colors.
But sometime colors overshadow the most important element in a picture. Monochrome on the other hand is able to bring out the authentic intended by a photographer in her picture.
I fall in love each snap.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010



I spent 30+ minutes hating and an equal time and a little bit more feeling bad after that.

When the incident struck me, I was carried away and what I felt seems normal at the moment. When you are in pain and the pain is at the center of your heart, the rational part of your brain turns off. The only things that matters is you and your feeling and your anger.

What reason do I have to hate?
Just because someone did something that is over my ego?
The answer was yes.

I am not going to let that be my sole reason to hate others.

When incidents like this happen, FAQ popped up:
1) Couldn't you put yourself in my shoes and see how much it hurts me?
2) Couldn't you guess how your act hurts?
3) Why would you did such thing that you know would hurt me?
4) What do you expect from me?
5) Don't you have some common sense in you?

The answers are NO and I DON'T CARE.
A very typical and normal human being.
Nothing big to anyone's concern.

I was one of the incident. I want to deny that, but I can't. I want to say that what I did was not as bad as the incident I encounter, but what's hurt still hurt.

Muhasabah is my word of the day.
It's a call from ALLAH, for me to repent and to forgive.
InsyaAllah... Alhamdulillah...


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Klik Klik Pelita Syawal 1431H/2010


Antara misi utama Klik Klik Syawal kali ini ialah pelita!
Agak kecewa bila tiada pelita di pasang oleh jiran sebelah (yang menjadi satu-satunya harapan untuk pasang pelita) semasa aku pulang 2 minggu yang lalu. Tapi pada malam 1 Syawal, kelihatanlah pelita meliuk-lintuk menari bersama angin (^_^) Tidak lah banyak, cukup untuk aku yang amatur berlatih function yang berkenaan...

Agak susah pada mulanya untuk mendapat hasil yang terbaik. Kebanyakan gambar yang aku capture nampak tipikal dan tak ada soul. High ISO, low ISO, shutter speed this and that, metering (walaupun aku masih blur pasal ni), night mode, flash on, flash off. You name it. Lastly, I decided to switch to Monochrome. I have no expectation at all, I just thought maybe I could find something for my Monochrome Unlimited collection.

Alhamdulillah, it turn out great!
Jadi, berikut adalah hasil yang terbaik dan yang paling aku suka. Inilah yang Encik Ikmal selalu katakan lucky shot... I did nothing special. Ia adalah pelita dan angin. Everything is beautiful in its natural way. A shot like this couldn't be created, it happen.


Monday, September 13, 2010

Kisah Nasi Daging


Tengah hari 1 Syawal 1431H.

Akhirnya buat keputusan untuk masak juga Nasi Daging. Sambil sebelah tangan pegang resepi, aku bertawakkal je ke hadrat Illahi sambil mencampak bahan-bahan ke dalam periuk. Hahaha. Tumisan rempahnya dah nampak perfect, tapi macam tahun yang lepas masalah timbul lepas masukkan beras. Untuk kali kedua kalinya nasi yang aku masak mentah. Sungguh fail sebagai menantu pilihan... *sigh*

Anyway, masalahnya memang aku sedia maklum -- beras yang aku gunakan. Dalam resepi terang-terangan guna beras Basmathi, tapi aku selambe je guna beras biasa. Sungguh menempah padah. Abah kata, takpe, next year kita guna beras Basmathi. Right. Macam lah aku akan masak lagi Nasi Daging lepas ni :p Sebenarnya guna beras biasa pun boleh jadi sedap. Cuma perlu dikukus selepas airnya kering. Never add more liquid. That's another lesson I learn.

Apa jadi dengan nasi yang aku masak?
Hmm... Bagi aku dari segi rasa agak berjaya. Sedap Ok... Tapi sebab aku dan Abah beriya-iya tambah air, beras jadi hancur lalu nasi jadi lembik. Tambah pulak dengan 2 biji kentang (untuk serap lebihan garam, sebab aku memang ada tendency untuk terlebih garam...) yang aku terlupa nak keluarkan, semakin berkanjilah nasi tersebut. Rasanya dah tentulah tak sama macam Nasi Daging arwah Mak. Rasa nak rebus je adik-adik aku yang protes kononnya kecewa sebab rasa masakan aku tak sama. Well tell me about frustration you morons :p

Aku rasa give up, agak malu sebenarnya dengan kehadiran tetamu (adik ipar Hakim) yang terpaksa merasa masakan-masakan aku sepanjang musim raya ni. Aku terfikir, berapa lama dan berapa kali agaknya Mak cuba resepi demi resepi sampai la masakan arwah melekat di hati anak-anak dan suami. Aku baru cuma masak Nasi Daging dua kali pun dah tak mahu cuba lagi. Satu motivasi tu...

Sambil basuh pinggan mangkuk, timbul satu kesedaran dalam diri. Housework ni tidak boleh nanti-nanti. Sesetengah gadis (termasuklah aku) kata bila dah nak kahwin baru belajar semua-semua tu. Lebih haru kalau yang dah lepas kahwin baru nak belajar selok-belok dapur. Ewah! Aku pun bukan la mahir sangat. Tapi alhamdulillah, disebabkan expectation keluarga dan keperluan untuk tahu selok-belok dapur, aku belajar lebih awal. Sekarang ni tak la kekok sangat. Boleh la. Sekurang-kurangnya bila aku kahwin nanti, insyaAllah, suami aku tak perlu jadi tester untuk masakan aku yang serba tak kena (^_^)v

Benarlah, untuk menambat hati perlu menambat perut.
Bila perut suka, hati pun lebih sayang.

Nota kaki: Masakan yang memang wajar dipelajari adalah masakan ibu-ibu sekelian. Masakan-masakan inilah yang telah membesarkan anak-anak dengan penuh kasih sayang.


Sunday, September 12, 2010

Maher Zain's The Chosen One


I was so touched by Maher Zain's The Chosen One -- the song, the lyric and the music video. It's about our beloved Prophet Muhammad PBUH. The music video was inspired by Rasulullah and it portrayed his character. It was a proactive respond towards all attacks on Prophet Muhammad.

Menonton video muzik tersebut membangkitkan kerinduan kepada Rasulullah. Betapa mulianya akhlak baginda. Itulah cara hidup Islam yang sebenar. [Termasuk diriku] Ramai antara kita berbual mengenai sunnah Rasulullah dan bersungguh-sungguh mahu mendapat sedikit pahala tambahan daripadanya. Tapi tak ramai yang mahu menjadikan akhlak baginda sebagai benchmark.

Betapa sabarnya baginda.
Betapa lemah lembutnya baginda.
Betapa pemaafnya baginda.
Betapa penyayangnya baginda.
Betapa indahnya tutur kata baginda.
Betapa sederhananya baginda.
Hamba Allah yang bagaimana baginda dibandingkan dengan kita.
Suami yang bagaimana baginda dibandingkan dengan lelaki zaman sekarang.

Rasulullah solat taubat dan beristighfar 70 kali sehari walaupun baginda maksum. Kita?
Rasulullah sentiasa mengingati kita walaupun di akhir usia baginda. Kita?

Allahhu Akbar.

Ya Rasulullah, "I will try to follow your way and do my best to live my life as you taught me. I pray to be close to you on that day and see you smile when you see me... Sallu ‘ala Rasulillah, Habibil Mustafa Peace be upon The Messenger The Chosen One..."


Maher Zain

In a time of darkness and greed
It is your light that we need
You came to teach us how to live
Muhammad Ya Rasool Allah

You were so caring and kind
Your soul was full of light
You are the best of mankind
Muhammad Khaira Khalqillah
Sallu ‘ala Rasulillah, Habib Al Mustafa
Peace be upon The Messenger
The Chosen One

From luxury you turned away
And all night you would pray
Truthful in every word you say
Muhammad Ya Rasul Allah

Your face was brighter than the sun
Your beauty equaled by none
You are Allah’s Chosen One
Muhammad Khaira Khalqillah
Sallu ‘ala Rasulillah, Habib Al Mustafa
Peace be upon The Messenger
The Chosen One

I will try to follow your way
And do my best to live my life
As you taught me
I pray to be close to you
On that day and see you smile
When you see me
Sallu ‘ala Rasulillah, Habibil Mustafa
Peace be upon The Messenger
The Chosen One

Sallu ‘ala Rasulillah, Habibi Mustafa
Peace be upon The Messenger
The Chosen One

Friday, September 10, 2010

Kisah Juadah Syawal


Sangat mengantuk dan sedang menonton 2010 MTV Movie Award yang disiarkan di 8TV. Dalam hati mengecam; apa logiknya rancangan ini pada malam 1 Syawal 1431H. It’s just a bunch of artist cursing all the night; like what Peter Facinelli said: “I never heard the word **** being said so many times in one night”.

Oh! Ada Ayam Masak Merah di atas dapur. Dah masak petang tadi, tapi ada kekurangan pada rasanya. Maklum la, chef berpuasa dan ini adalah pertama kali aku memasak Ayam Masak Merah resepi Tok. Selalunya kami tunggu je Tok masak. Mana nak tahu, bila aku sampai dari Pulau Pinang tengah hari tadi, Abah dah sedia menunggu dengan ayam dan bahan-bahan serta arahan: “Masak Ayam Masak Merah Tok.”

Another major alamak!
I was only pembantu dapur all the time.
Cuba juga call Tok, tapi tak berjaya. I was left with no choice but to cook base on my instinct and hazy memory. Alhamdulillah, it smells almost right and taste not bad at all. What it need was a sprinkle of salt and sugar plus some asam jawa. Walla! That’s what I am doing right now – perfecting my Ayam Masak Merah. At this moment, I am so grateful and so proud of myself for cooking this special dish nicely.

Ketupat dah selesai petang tadi. Kuih raya pun Mama dah siap letak dalam balang. Yang terlibat di dapur hanyalah Abah, Hakim, Isma dan aku. Rasa sedikit kekurangan tanpa kehadiran seorang orang lama (biasanya Tok) dan seorang ibu (Mama terpaksa bekerja). Walaupun begitu, semua berjalan dengan lancar, cepat je dah selesai semua. Alhamdulillah.

Juadah Syawal kami tahun ini:
Ketupat Daun Palas
Pulut Berinti Pisang (Resepi Hakim)
Ayam Masak Merah Ala Tok Timah
Rendang Daging
*** Nasi Daging masih dalam pertimbangan walaupun resepi dah disalin dari internet :p

Salam lebaran 1431H semua!
Selamat menikmati juadah yang disediakan dengan penuh kasih saying (^_^)

Nota kaki: Ketika sedang menyiapkan entri ini, seseorang telah membalas perutusan selamat hari raya dan maaf aku. Well, for me it sounds a little bit arrogant. But as usual, it could only be me and my sensitive being... Tak mengapa lah. Aku juga boleh begitu


Monday, September 6, 2010

Raya Wish: Nasi Daging


Raya wish 2010 from my youngest brother: Nasi Daging. Reason: Mak always cooked that.

Major alamak!
First, I don't have the recipe.
Second, even if I do have the recipe my cooking skill is nothing more compare to him. Hahaha. Sometime I think he cook better :P

So I am going to spend my time browsing the net for Nasi Daging recipe. There are many ways to cook it and I am soooo have zero instinct on which to choose.

My dear lovely friends, readers and lurkers...
If you know Nasi Daging recipe, please, please, please share it with me (^_^)v


Friday, September 3, 2010



2 September 2010.
8TV Quickie's topic: L.D.R - Long Distance Relationship. It is in conjunction of Going the Distance movie release.
Well hear this Megan and Naqib, I had had a L.D.R for six years. Yes Naqib, six years not six months. [At least I was into the commitment for six years, ha ha ha]

Was it hard? Yes.
Can L.D.R worked? Yes.
Then why did you two broke up? Yes, we broke up but for typical reasons. Distance was not one of it. [At least not for me. I never ask him, I will never ask and I have no intention to know at all.]

As usual, people will have tons of questions about L.D.R, like it is some sort of alien practice or something. When it works, it's a miracle. When it failed, people blame the distance. When people heard that you are in a L.D.R, they give you the deep sigh and you can almost see the best-of-luck projection from their mind.

No Tickets Required, None Too Expensive

I was determined to prove that distance is just another number between two of us. Are you saying that distance is stronger than your love? Nah, not happening. There was no different between L.D.R and normal relationship. There will still be distance, literally. For Allah's sake, you are not living in the same room to begin with. Hahaha.

The feeling and effort maybe different from one another. As for me, I was fine and comfortable with the L.D.R status. It allows me to breathe and I must admit that it provide me the escape door from the guilt I felt for having a relationship. [I am not going to explain further on that. If you would like to know, please ask me personally.] There was no insecurity issue as I am a loyal creature and I trust my ex-other-half, too. [Yes, stupid and unrealistic, I know. I've heard that for six years, thank you.]

My philosophy is simple.
My love, commitment and thoughts did not deteriorate by distance.
No tickets required and none too expensive.

These are the important elements in L.D.R.
But of course, I am not the one to say more on this topic (^_^)
All I want and can say is, long distance relationship is possible. It has become a trend. Boys and girls are chasing their dreams.

Are you going to let distance separate you from the person you love?
If you choose to have a long distance relationship, please commit to it.
Be truth and try hard not to break a heart.

I think I will watch Going the Distance.


Menjelang Aidilfitri


Aidilfitri tiba lagi. Tahun ini adalah tahun kedua Aidilfitri tanpa Mak. Di sebalik semua kemeriahan, ada kehilangan yang tak tergambarkan. Kekosongan yang aku rasakan. Adik-adik aku kata aku terlalu banyak berfikir. Tatkala takbir raya berkumandang pada Aidilfitri yang lalu, satu-satunya perkara yang terlintas difikiran adalah berakhir sudah bulan rahmat dan 'masa rehat' untuk Mak. Mungkin adik-adik betul, aku terlalu banyak berfikir. Rahmat Allah itu banyak. Aku hanya hamba yang hilang pertimbangan.

Ingatan dan rindu kepada Mak selalu hadir. Dan dalam kerinduan, apa yang mampu aku lakukan hanyalah mengenangnya dan memanjatkan doa untuk kesejahteraan Mak di sana.

Pagi Jumaat 24 Ramadhan 1431H, aku menjadi emosional menonton video di bawah. Harapannya, janganlah ada kawan-kawan yang melepaskan peluang untuk berbakti kepada ibu bapa mereka. Jangan tunggu untuk kehilangan baru nak dikenang.

Memetik sedikit skrip dari drama Syurgamu Ramadhan, dari watak Budi: "Mempunyai ibu bapa itu juga satu rahmat dari Allah. Bila-bila masa sahaja Allah boleh tarik balik nikmat tu."

Semoga kami adik beradik adalah anak-anak yang soleh dan solehah kepada ibu bapa kami, Ya Allah.

Bukan niat untuk menanamkan kesedihan menjelang Aidilfitri... Be happy and have a great Aidilfitri. I know we will. Tapi jangan dilupakan mereka yang mampu kita hadiahi dengan doa.


Thursday, September 2, 2010

Oh Kekanda Adinda


Satu lagi lagu menarik yang bermain-main di kotak fikiran dan dijangkakan akan berterusan agak lama. Kekanda Adinda nyanyian Atilia dan Monoloque. Yes, the Loque of Butterfingers. Interesting, right? Lagu ini adalah lagu tema untuk drama 8 Bulan lakonan the lovely couple, Vanidah Imran dan Shidee.

Kesimpulannya, lagu ini memang dikelilingi dengan perkara-perkara menarik. Pertama sekali dah tentu la Loque. Siapa sangka Loque boleh menghasilkan lagu sebegini... So exciting! Yang keduanya dah tentulah drama 8 bulan. So sweet!

Enjoy this lovely and fun song.Sudah tiba masanya industri muzik beralih kepada karya yang lebih spontan dan jujur. Zaman lagu-lagu plastik serta dramtik tapi kosong dah berakhir. Kerana itulah artis-artis indie semakin mendapat sambutan.