I spent 30+ minutes hating and an equal time and a little bit more feeling bad after that.

When the incident struck me, I was carried away and what I felt seems normal at the moment. When you are in pain and the pain is at the center of your heart, the rational part of your brain turns off. The only things that matters is you and your feeling and your anger.

What reason do I have to hate?
Just because someone did something that is over my ego?
The answer was yes.

I am not going to let that be my sole reason to hate others.

When incidents like this happen, FAQ popped up:
1) Couldn't you put yourself in my shoes and see how much it hurts me?
2) Couldn't you guess how your act hurts?
3) Why would you did such thing that you know would hurt me?
4) What do you expect from me?
5) Don't you have some common sense in you?

The answers are NO and I DON'T CARE.
A very typical and normal human being.
Nothing big to anyone's concern.

I was one of the incident. I want to deny that, but I can't. I want to say that what I did was not as bad as the incident I encounter, but what's hurt still hurt.

Muhasabah is my word of the day.
It's a call from ALLAH, for me to repent and to forgive.
InsyaAllah... Alhamdulillah...



CiziWejes said…
Being alive doesn't consist only one feeling. Anger, frustration and hatred are walking abreast with satisfaction, kindness and love...they come in a package, together, not separately sold like those toys in the market. Having these feelings showed that you're still alive dear. Don't get intimidated by intimidated only when you didn't feel them anymore.
'Aini said…
Ya, I do agree with you. A part of me was so gratefull. I am normal and breathing! (^__^)

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