Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Birthday Note - 25 Years Old


The first birthday wish for this year is from Kak Mai, on 11th January 2010! And more advance messages are coming in my Facebook. Seems like everyone is excited about my birthday :D Hehehe.
I've been trying to write this note since last week. Not that easy, you know - it's either too many to tell or I have none to share.

Each birthday is another portal, opened to a new world. While I'm writing this, I am pacing closer to this year's portal. I can see memories greeted me throughout the path, even in the dimmest of light. This is the first time I'm writing a note about a year that is spent in my life.
Triple trilogy cut short into one blog post, I am so proud of the 25 years old me. Life's been tough on me and life changing events happen the most; you know what I mean [I'll tell at the end of this post]. But here I am, still pretty, still standing.

There were tons of great stuff, but I'd like to share this particular "achievement" - at the age of 25 years old, I finally learn to be happy. I've been a sad person since ever and finally I learn to be happy and see the world as more than just a sphere. I gain better eyesight - colors are more vibrant and warmth, I see great things in (almost) everything, and the most important thing I see less imperfection and flaw that make me less happy over the years. Mak would be happy to know that I've stop wearing blacks, wear less greys and love colors so much!

Other than achievement, events happen in my life. Well, I finally got my driving license back and booked a car. I met nice people with interesting personality. I started reading back, involving lot of book and money - Twilight Saga start the flame. Oh, and I met a perfect lover named Edward Cullen, a clumsy all-monster-sweetheart named Bella Swan, a fab-abs shoulder to cry on named Jacob Black, a vampire family and a pack of werewolves. I travel the most, jumping here and there. And, I started writing my blog. I feel more confident and comfortable with my English. And I manage to get myself a new image - I feel better! Let see... what else... Oh ya, the first grandchild in Aton & Sarah's family was born - Cahya Laila As-Syifa Tun Hafidzul Hakim - obviously not my child :p

But, the biggest and most significant event was the demise of my strong and lovely Mak. Last year's birthday was the final birthday I had with Mak. ALLAH called her back to HIS side on 28 February 2009; Lung Cancer stage 4. Mak gave birth to me when she was 24 years old and I lost her when I was 25. This year's birthday would be very ironic, without the one giving birth to me...

Mak died and a part of me died with her. Oh, it was not a bad thing; it was a good thing. The part that died - she was the unhappy-melancholy 'Aini. When the saddest event (so far) happens in your life, you'll find it hard to be sad over normal stuff. I stop being (too) sad and bounce on the rainbow, grabbing the stars, hugging the moon and touching the sun.

I was always curious on my maternal instinct, whether or not I can cope with children and parental responsibilities. Mak's final words were for me to take care of my siblings. And I learn to do that. Syifa's arrivals was a bless. Love softens and she was sent to complete the puzzle :) Children are not that bad. Parental responsibilities, well, it’s in our blood. You’ll find your way someday. Hahahaha~

I hope I did not make anyone sad. Please don't. You see, deaths are sad and you are supposed to be sad. But death, my dear, is a part of life. Immortality is abnormal, dying is normal. As for Mak, I'm sad that she's no longer with us. But if you see this on the bright side, death is better for her - it ends all her pain and agony, it saves her dignity.

So... I think that's enough for this note. Again, please do not feel sad. Be happy for me :)
Thank you for reading and I love you all so much!


Monday, January 11, 2010



Aku pening kepala dengan yang bernama manusia...
Bukankah kamu sebaik-baik kejadiaan Tuhanmu?
Bukankah kamu dibekalkan dengan akal?
Tidakkah kamu diajarkan dengan kebaikan?
Tidakkah kamu dianugerahkan dengan perasaan?
Banyak perkataan baik, buruk juga kamu gunakan.
Banyak perangai sopan, yang sebaliknya juga kamu amalkan.

Mahu jadi siapa kamu wahai manusia, kalau bukan menjadi hambaNYA?


AJL 24


Congratulations and thank you to:
Pete Teo for composing and writing "I Go" - Lovely song!
Amran Omar for translating the lovely song into "Pergi";
Aizat for his voice and perfomance.
A winner with a message!

It would be less smart if "Pergi" did not win last night. All songs were great and all performances were awesome. No offense, but it takes more to be a winner. Anugerah Juara Lagu (AJL) is not about who sings or what are you wearing or what props did you use on stage. It was a battle of music and lyric.

Pete Teo/Amran Omar/Aizat's "Pergi" was one song that touches hearts with its melody, lyric, the voice who sings it and [for last night performance] theme and creativity. A complete package if I may say. But of course, Pete Teo is the sifu when talking about unison plus creativity - Malaysian Artistes for Unity's "Here in My Home" and 15Malaysia was his project.

I must say, AJL24 was a successful in spite of everything. The idea of open competition and the domination of Indie bands and reality show stars were not that pleasing at first. But hey, last night's show wouldn't be great if not because of them. The show was full of rainbows because of them.

Can't say that AJL24 is the best AJL, but it was definitely the best so far. Love the presenter - Ally, Cheryl and FBI - they were charming! Love the theme - Origami - pretty much subjective, unique, owned specific identity and very much foldable :p Hehehe. And for the first time the juries were acceptably the correct person.


*** Undeniably, "Pergi" is a great song and together with the additional package, "Pergi" left AJL, the juries and TV3 with no option than to make it the winner. All other [great] performances shouted their identity, but "Pergi" speaks for 1Malaysia. By considering the current situation, there is not even one inch doubt that "Pergi" is what we need.

*** If I could give away an award, I'd like to give it to Faizal Tahir for is determination to perform "Bencinta" despite his health condition.

*** Sort of confuse with the crowd during Hujan's performance; plus with Noh's expression... It made me wonder whether the crowd was meant to be there, or were them a bunch of out-of-control fans.


"Pergi" reminds me to Mak… Very, very much.

Sayu terpisah
Hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
Berhembus angin rindu
Begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu
Hujan lebat mencurah kini
Bagaikan tiada henti
Kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
Tak lagi kudengari
Kau pergi... pergi...
Sepi tanpa kata
Terdiam dan kaku tak daya kau kulupa
Apa pun kata mereka
Biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia


Monday, January 4, 2010

Knock, knock, knock!


It's 4th January 2010;
First day of working in 2010.
Few days left for this 25 years young lady :)

I'm turning 26!!!
Eventhough at heart I am forever 13... I am so turning 26!

25 is like standing on the thin line between young and not young. But 26... the "6" indicate that I have cross over to the other side of the world, which is not so young. The hysterics are more on the fact that I am so very much single and that a wedding is expected and that I am having my first baby when most of women my age would have their second and so on and the question will keep on coming and bugging me.


Hey hey!
I am not that girl who weeps over my age. I am proud of turning 26 and the next. Just that living in this world with these big ears, I hear cruel whispers. Don't you dare blaming my ears; you should mind your words and please get a new hobby other than giving people a hard time.

In this departure hall of gate 25, I watch a rerun of how I spent my age. I'm writing the last details on my book...