Birthday Note - 25 Years Old


The first birthday wish for this year is from Kak Mai, on 11th January 2010! And more advance messages are coming in my Facebook. Seems like everyone is excited about my birthday :D Hehehe.
I've been trying to write this note since last week. Not that easy, you know - it's either too many to tell or I have none to share.

Each birthday is another portal, opened to a new world. While I'm writing this, I am pacing closer to this year's portal. I can see memories greeted me throughout the path, even in the dimmest of light. This is the first time I'm writing a note about a year that is spent in my life.
Triple trilogy cut short into one blog post, I am so proud of the 25 years old me. Life's been tough on me and life changing events happen the most; you know what I mean [I'll tell at the end of this post]. But here I am, still pretty, still standing.

There were tons of great stuff, but I'd like to share this particular "achievement" - at the age of 25 years old, I finally learn to be happy. I've been a sad person since ever and finally I learn to be happy and see the world as more than just a sphere. I gain better eyesight - colors are more vibrant and warmth, I see great things in (almost) everything, and the most important thing I see less imperfection and flaw that make me less happy over the years. Mak would be happy to know that I've stop wearing blacks, wear less greys and love colors so much!

Other than achievement, events happen in my life. Well, I finally got my driving license back and booked a car. I met nice people with interesting personality. I started reading back, involving lot of book and money - Twilight Saga start the flame. Oh, and I met a perfect lover named Edward Cullen, a clumsy all-monster-sweetheart named Bella Swan, a fab-abs shoulder to cry on named Jacob Black, a vampire family and a pack of werewolves. I travel the most, jumping here and there. And, I started writing my blog. I feel more confident and comfortable with my English. And I manage to get myself a new image - I feel better! Let see... what else... Oh ya, the first grandchild in Aton & Sarah's family was born - Cahya Laila As-Syifa Tun Hafidzul Hakim - obviously not my child :p

But, the biggest and most significant event was the demise of my strong and lovely Mak. Last year's birthday was the final birthday I had with Mak. ALLAH called her back to HIS side on 28 February 2009; Lung Cancer stage 4. Mak gave birth to me when she was 24 years old and I lost her when I was 25. This year's birthday would be very ironic, without the one giving birth to me...

Mak died and a part of me died with her. Oh, it was not a bad thing; it was a good thing. The part that died - she was the unhappy-melancholy 'Aini. When the saddest event (so far) happens in your life, you'll find it hard to be sad over normal stuff. I stop being (too) sad and bounce on the rainbow, grabbing the stars, hugging the moon and touching the sun.

I was always curious on my maternal instinct, whether or not I can cope with children and parental responsibilities. Mak's final words were for me to take care of my siblings. And I learn to do that. Syifa's arrivals was a bless. Love softens and she was sent to complete the puzzle :) Children are not that bad. Parental responsibilities, well, it’s in our blood. You’ll find your way someday. Hahahaha~

I hope I did not make anyone sad. Please don't. You see, deaths are sad and you are supposed to be sad. But death, my dear, is a part of life. Immortality is abnormal, dying is normal. As for Mak, I'm sad that she's no longer with us. But if you see this on the bright side, death is better for her - it ends all her pain and agony, it saves her dignity.

So... I think that's enough for this note. Again, please do not feel sad. Be happy for me :)
Thank you for reading and I love you all so much!



hi my friend!!

Love reading about how you cope with the loss of your mum, I have never encounter such loss yet but it is encouraging to hear how people keep on moving after experiencing such a hard times..
I'm writing about my hard times too but it is not published yet in my blog..maybe in these few keep in touch!
'Aini said…
Ija. Thanks for stopping by. You'll never know until the day you have no option, but to face it :D Life is simple.
fleur vinca said…
happy bday dear! lambat nya wish kt blog ni....xselalu bad.. :(

mmm...wishing u all the bestin what ever u're getting... lots of love from me and him.. ;)
'Aini said…
thanks fifah.. juz another birthday. u'll have the chance to wish it next years (insyaAllah) :)
thanks to him, too :p

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