Monday, May 30, 2011



All adults were teenager, but not all teenagers are adult. Being a teenager is hard, believe me I know. You're not a kid, but not yet an adult. They way people treat you most of the time didn't help. I think that 'confusion' contribute to rebellious years and conflict in a teenager.

I had rebellious years as a teenager. I saw everything including the world going against me. If I had wings, I would have soared into another world. I have never feel angst and frustration more in my life other that time. Teenage years is short, it ends before you realized it. But that short period of time determine what kind of adult you'll become.

Not many teenagers want to stay on the other side of the line - being a kid - most of teenager want to get out of the cocoon and became an adult. You think being an adult is that cool, isn't??!! Sigh. The adrenaline and desire motivate teenagers to do sort of things to gain that adult status.

And I always have problem - huge problem - with that initiative.

This is especially to my lil bro and generally to all teenagers out there.
For everybody who holds responsibility towards you - parents, older sister / brother, aunty / uncle - you are forever a baby to us. Being rebellious and doing stupid things to prove that you are not a baby, would never change what's in our heart or how we see you.

I was a teenager and I had my rebellious years, so I'm not going to tell you to stop doing what you're doing. But listen. The only way people will started to treat and see you as an adult, is when you act like an adult. That is, to be responsible to each element you are supposed to be responsible to. That is, to consider your future and work to get a better one. That is, to prove that you can be a person and not another statistic. That is, to understand what your parents sacrificed to raise a family. That is, to stop making people who love you dearly worry and cry.

Until then, even then, you are our beloved baby.

You don't have to understand this now. But I hope it wouldn't be too late when you finally understand this. When you are at our place - an adult - you'll see what we see. Life is full of footsteps; you got to see them everywhere.


Friday, May 27, 2011

Who I Am


It's Friday and it is a norm to share something good and religious - and today is Zain Bhikha's day. It all started with "First We Need the Love" feat. Zain’s 17 years old son. That's when I notice this song. Entitle "Who I Am"; this song celebrates each person's individuality and expression. I feel like crying watching the MV, especially knowing the part that it was shot at District Six area.

I believe that it is everybody's right to choose their personality. I got to choose to be who I am - a perfectionist - so does others - they have rights to be less perfect. It would be unfair if we see other personality as not as good as ours. But it would be irresponsible to practice, to stay and to promote the opposite quality due to the tolerance.

Be who we want to be.
Be just yourself.
But among all, choose to be the one Allah loves.
May one day we can say:
This is who I am, this is me
Nothing, everything, can’t you see
Who I am, just let me be
Cos like it or not but God loves me
Who I am


Who I am
By Zain Bhikha

Social Expectation drowns us all inside
What you have should be what I want
Cos what I have just aint alright
The clothes I wear, the way I comb my hair
How I live, oh I don’t care

This is who I am, this is me
Nothing, everything, can’t you see
Who I am, just let me be
Cos like it or not but God loves me
Who I am

He said, she said, they all did
What’s expected of them all
To get to the top don’t matter
If somebody’s gotta fall
You gotta brace the storm, the norms to conform
Get what you wants’ gonna kill us all

Beyond the body that you see
There’s so much more to me
And I feel best when my soul is free

They tell me this is the way
that I need to reform
If I continue to stray,
I’m gonna start up a storm
Wear this, drive that, like this, not that
Don’t dare lose track or you’ll fall way back
But if my Lord loves me then
I know that I’m free
You can say what you want just let me be
I know if I’m real and it’s not a disguise
You’ll love who I am if you open up your eyes
I insist that you see, I aint a mystery
It’s who I wish to be, this is me
It’s what’s true within, come and look again
Looking through the skin
Who I Am

Sunday, May 15, 2011

April to May


These past few weeks have been tough on me. The word "maximizing" truly feels significant to me. I have so many things to say, but it is hard even to put it into words.

Let's wrap up!

365 Days


To forget the date would be a blessing but to pretend not to notice felt too ridiculous to me. After all, this is an important event :p It was a tough time for me and to survive Rihanna's "Take a Bow", Hilary Duff's "So Yesterday" and Jewel's "Stronger Woman" sounds like something worth to celebrate. I was all excited, only to found out that others don't seem to share the same excitement. The response was rather gloomy and full of hesitation. What made it worse; they thought I am still holding on to the past. Sigh. It was a major disappointment on a very important day. I thought I would receive congratulations for being strong throughout the seasons. I can't blame them especially when I am the one who’s going against the typical script. On the other hand, I'd like to emphasis that breakups don’t have to be worse that it already is. And I definitely don't need to be reminded on my important day that I am supposed to feel bad about it. :p

Angel's Birthday

Happy 1st birthday, lovely Angel ^___^ She's one year old. My gifts to her this year [and the next following years] are renewed road tax and paid insurance. Hahaha. Though she's only one year old, we have traveled peninsular Malaysia from Arau to Kota Tinggi. She's a good companion. I pray that our friendship would last many, many years more.

One year of Angel also means an anniversary of me being a driver. Hey, I never would have imagine I am capable of being a responsible driver if I'm not in this skin :p I have learnt and still learning a lot of thing on the road. One thing that I notice, I became a calmer and reasonable person after some time. I am easily infuriated and driving gives me the opportunity to exercise my patience. Fuh! That is a one tough lesson.

Oppa is Winning

C.N Blue releases their first full album "First Step" with "Intuition" as the title track. "Intuition" conquers the charts! Then they releases "First Step Special Edition" which sold out on the released day - while I was still thinking about buying it. The motivation: must be the 60 pages of Oppa's picture. The latest "First Step + 1: Thank You" was released as their appreciation to BOICES - featuring the newly arranged of L.O.V.E Girl as the title track and in the form of a diary with Oppa's heart breaking pictures. Along with this album is the MV for L.O.V.E Girl. Love it very much! There was never a female model in C.N Blue's MV, so it is a little bit weird to see a female model in L.O.V.E Girl... A little jealousy, maybe... But I still love it ^____^

Syifa "Gee Gee Baby"

Syifa's favorite Korean song is SNSD's "Gee" ^____^ She's almost 2 years old and her new interest in music is just heartwarming. I miss her every time I'm listening to "Gee". The only problem is she will keep on requesting "Gee" whenever she sees me in front of the computer. I thought I know "Gee" by heart sooner or later :p If she can sings and dance to the song, I am really going to send the video to SNSD! Hahaha. On top of that, I am glad that she recognizes C.N Blue Oppa every time she sees them. Syifa even react exactly like the girl in L.O.V.E Girl's MV when she listened to the song. ^____^ Ok, winning dance! So much of KPop influence around her~!

William weds Catherine

I was unaware of Diana's wedding, but I am glad to 'attend' her son's wedding. On William's biggest day, I think the whole world misses Diana.

Love Catherine's wedding gown and I didn't expect that she would let her hair down. When she did, I think she's just being Catherine on her wedding day.

Stress Management

The stress level is increasing at workplace. It's the kind of situation where I feel like quitting and determine to resign every day. Yes, it is that high. The source - the job, of course and the other one would be the people I am working with. I feel like feeding that person to the white sharks. Hahaha.

I have the tendency to develop a playlist for certain situation. Below are the songs I listened everyday, 8 am to 5 pm~ You would notice that these songs carry specific and significant emotion.

L.O.V.E Girl by C.N Blue, both Original and the new arrangement version - This song is really cute. The fact that Yong oppa wrote the lyric and to see how they were having fun while performing to this song in the guerilla concert really makes an impression. ^____^ This song makes me feel happy. It's equal to drug or Edward Cullen. Hehehehe~

Voice by C.N Blue - Voice has a very fast and active music. I really thought this song is suitable for driving - really refreshing. It reminds me of Ultraman :p Hahahaha. And it also reminds me to oppa - happily playing their instrument in Listen to the Blue concert.

Thank You by C.N Blue - What we all need is a little appreciation. No matter how it is spoken, in any language - 'thank you' is a very strong word... It is a word that can change the world. So yes, I like listening to this song.

Kimio (Japanese version) / Geuraeyo (Korean version) by C.N Blue - I am not really sure what is the meaning of this song, but I love the music.

No Other by Super Junior - ^____^ The MV is omo, omo, omo! Hehehehe. The lyric itself is sweet and having SuJu to sings it for me, well, undeniably lovable.

Bonamana by Super Junior - I did not favor this song at first, I called it the alien song due to the intro. But after I studied the meaning, I just love it! Hahahahaha. It's about a pretty girl (min ah) and what's not to like about it? :p

Kiss Me (OST Playful Kiss) by G.Na - This song reminds me to Baek Seung-jo. I don't think I'd spend my life chasing over a guy like him, but he is just heart stopping. Hehehehe :p

Like The First Time by T-Ara - No specific reason. It has catchy melody.