Skip to main content

I.Don't.Know


Assalamualaikum,
I am writing this without any concrete idea. I have many interesting stuff to share, but all are blocked by a sense of disappointment. Is this blockage can be consider as disappointment, I do not know. What I do know, it is something I can understand, yet I do not understand in the same time.

This week has been a week of... confusion [?]. I feel like too many things happened in my life and in others' life that changed me and them. I was so contented in my life that I have ignored what's changing in another part of the world. I no longer recognized some of the people in my life.

I am not to judge. It is not right for me to have a say at all about what's going on. I am also involved and I choose my way and they chose their way. But it broke my heart to see how much their way hurt another party. I understand what motivate them; I am not saying a word about it. I know only what's related to me. There were so many layers and I don't know whose lying. Probably all were telling the truth, from their perspective.

This "disappointment" and "confusion" almost fit to the feeling of waking one morning knowing that your loving family is falling apart. Parents talking about the divorce you never see, only to discover that everyone was covering up a lot of things from you -- to protect you. There was so much love in the family that you can't make sense how such hatred could exist. You were brought up with that loving environment... and now the loving environment seem fake.

Forgive.
Give chance.
Muhasabah.

This is just me.
We all go our way.
Wassalam.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye Ben Jern

Oh my... another good bye. Why laaaaaaaaaa~!

Today, we bid farewell and we wish a great future to our one and only Loh Ben Jern of #BenHafiz FlyFM. Our heroes of insanity.
It's the final 30 minutes of flying with Ben's craziness... So sad! Huhuhuhuhu. Ben Jern has been on air since 10 PM last night - slumber party katanya - and I only sleep 3 hours plus, listening to him sambil kemas barang.
I know, some of you might think: "What is wrong with this girl, crying over a DJ...". Clearly, you don't know Ben, you never listen to these #FunnyBigBoys #BenHafiz and you never listen to Mrs. Boopathy and Pak Jamil or their Krappi Call. They are the only person on earth who can make Malaysians do *obviously* crazy stuff over a phone call. Hahahaha. Ben is the most adorable talking goat. LOL!


*** They are airing the Grandmother of All Krappi Call again - where Ben finally got krappi-ed *** I was laughing madly in the car earlier this morning... And then I cried. Oh it was su…

Celebrate the Love: Bones and Booth

I have exam at 2 pm today and I've been burning the midnight oil. But I really really really want to share this: Bones and Booth's wedding vow. Well sort of wedding conversation, actually.
I love them and I am happy that the characters finally get their happy ending.

To Bones, the coolest geek I ever known, and to Booth, congratulations!


Booth: "You know, I worked really, really hard on my vows, but you know, now that we're here—look, hey, do you remember the last time that we were here, standing right around this spot? It was right in the beginning, before we really knew each other. I was trying to get away from you, because you were irritating me, and you chased me down and you caught up to me. I said to you, 'Listen, I just have to get all my ducks in a row,' right, and then you said to me, [Brennan: "I can be a duck."]. Yeah. We had been chasing each other for a long time, been chasing each other through wars and serial killers and ghosts and sn…

It's Just a Day

Today is another tough day. Well, it feels tougher - but I have survive many days like this.
A colleague blow up on me. I irate a colleague badly today. That's the beginning of everything: people starts being honest and the truth come flooding.
I don't know - I really don't know - how I could have offended other people. I am the type who either stand in or walk away. I was scolded, I was put on my place, and I have had arguments. I am aware of that.
But most of the time, I am just here, sitting at my cubicle, doing my job. I thought if I talk less, comment less, gossip less, it would lessen the probability of any inconvenience caused by my personality. Oh yes, I am aware that I am a difficult person. That's why I choose to stay away from other people when the going got tough.
So self-aware and crying, I sent this to the closest colleague: If I have wronged you, tell me. So that I can apologize properly. If I have flaws, tell me. So that I can improve. Please do not resen…