I.Don't.Know

-

Assalamualaikum,
I am writing this without any concrete idea. I have many interesting stuff to share, but all are blocked by a sense of disappointment. Is this blockage can be consider as disappointment, I do not know. What I do know, it is something I can understand, yet I do not understand in the same time.

This week has been a week of... confusion [?]. I feel like too many things happened in my life and in others' life that changed me and them. I was so contented in my life that I have ignored what's changing in another part of the world. I no longer recognized some of the people in my life.

I am not to judge. It is not right for me to have a say at all about what's going on. I am also involved and I choose my way and they chose their way. But it broke my heart to see how much their way hurt another party. I understand what motivate them; I am not saying a word about it. I know only what's related to me. There were so many layers and I don't know whose lying. Probably all were telling the truth, from their perspective.

This "disappointment" and "confusion" almost fit to the feeling of waking one morning knowing that your loving family is falling apart. Parents talking about the divorce you never see, only to discover that everyone was covering up a lot of things from you -- to protect you. There was so much love in the family that you can't make sense how such hatred could exist. You were brought up with that loving environment... and now the loving environment seem fake.

Forgive.
Give chance.
Muhasabah.

This is just me.
We all go our way.
Wassalam.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ugly Jealousy

-
Image
Assalamualaikum, There exist an individual who persistently pushing her luck on my patience. She has been doing this [crap] since our love story acknowledged to her. If I am to talk about the 'unfortunate coincidences', I might just sound paranoid. Her target: my jealousy; her weapon: him. I've been watching and letting go when she called him with a nickname. I told myself, it's just another nickname. But when she wrote on his wall, calling him that [stupid] nickname again, I said: that's it she just started a war. I was rummaging my mind for the trickiest and ugliest plan for her. I swore to make both of them suffer. I am going to explode and the whole world won't have place to hide. You can call me irrational or over sensitive or cemburu buta or not sporting; be my guess. What kind of girl running over someone else's other half, and acting weirdly [and gooey-ly] 'loving'? She would have guessed even with one side of her brain that that will turn me
Read more

Knock, knock, knock!

-
Image
Assalamualaikum, It's 4th January 2010; First day of working in 2010. Few days left for this 25 years young lady :) I'm turning 26!!! Eventhough at heart I am forever 13... I am so turning 26! Oh... 25 is like standing on the thin line between young and not young. But 26... the "6" indicate that I have cross over to the other side of the world, which is not so young. The hysterics are more on the fact that I am so very much single and that a wedding is expected and that I am having my first baby when most of women my age would have their second and so on and the question will keep on coming and bugging me. Ugh! Hey hey! I am not that girl who weeps over my age. I am proud of turning 26 and the next. Just that living in this world with these big ears, I hear cruel whispers. Don't you dare blaming my ears; you should mind your words and please get a new hobby other than giving people a hard time. In this departure hall of gate 25, I watch a rerun of how I spent my a
Read more

Klik! Klik! Children

-
Image
Assalamualaikum, These children were so nice for allowing me to take their pictures. It is a satisfaction to be able to freeze these moments. Sejuk hati memandang budak-budak ni… Wassalam. Picture 1 This lovely girl was attending SCH Wajadiri 2010 at KUIN, Alor Setar, Kedah. This is my first shot of her. I did not notice it, but her dress is exactly like mine. Coincidence? I'd say it was a sweet one! Picture 2 Rini and I were testing our new DSLR at Teluk Tempoyak and this lovely girl was at the nearby playground with her mother and brother. My first shot on her as well. I love her expression. Picture 3 These two boys were sitting on a slide. Upon seeing me with my D5000, they too, cooperate and allow me to capture this moment. Picture 4 and 5 A group of boys was digging sand -- sounds like boys to me. Hehehe. They were so happy that I can't help but try my best to capture their smile and giggles. Of course, they were all okay but towards the end they tried to involve me in the
Read more