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Parenting 101


Assalamualaikum,

To walk into a stranger's mind is easier compare to attempting to walk into a family member's mind. Sometime I think it's easier to walk and to understand an unknown criminal's mind compare to understand my siblings' mind. The fact agitated me!

I am suggesting Parenting 101 to be a compulsory subject in school and university. It is practical and useful as everyone will one day grow up being a parent. Why wait until it's too late to realized a parent's responsibility?

We are whispering about sex education at school but nobody raise any issue on the parenting responsibilities education. That's why babies were found everywhere, because they only know how to produce one and then they 'learn the hardest way' that parenting is HARD! That is my first argument.

My second argument is that we never know when the parenting skills are needed. One moment you are under parental supervision, the next second people are depending on you to provide parental supervision. Like me. I do agree, parenting skills are best learned through life experience. But it wouldn't hurt to learn in advance the fundamental of it.

Long story short [already a long introduction], I'm facing a major communication breakdown with my only sister [with all siblings and my Abah as well]. I feel like I'm speaking an extraterrestrial language that she can't understand. I can understand the rebelling desire in her but I can't pin point correct conversation that could lure her sanity to think of my good intention.

I'm not blaming or whining. It's just that there were moments of frustration that I wish I have learnt the parenting skills in school or university. Psychology only enables me to understand her, to look over for the cause and to reason her reaction. It takes a parent's heart to work over this communication stuff. A normal heart --- like mine --- don't have the patience to wait and listen and accept what I call "lame excuses" or "idiocy".
I am easily frustrated when she did something bad from my definition or when she did not met my expectation and mostly when her intellectual fail to reason between normal good or bad. I did not ask for perfection, I never ask her to be as boring as me. I just want her to be fine. She doesn’t have to undergo all etiquette 'classes' I attended when I was her age. All she needs to do is to listen to my suggestion [the hardest] and to consider it seriously [even harder].

I don't know how to tell her, effectively:
"That's stupid thing to do" and
"You'll regret it in 5 years time" or
"That attitude is prohibited in our family" and "I'm trying to protect you --- like I was protected --- not to control you" and
"Reality is cruel, you are yet to know the truth and I'm trying to give you the heads up" or
"You made bad decision" or
"I can't let you make me regret for not crossing your path to stop you from jumping off to hell".

Oh I know... it's me. It's me and my communication problem. I must not give up and keep looking for the best way to communicate with other human being. I must! This is not easy, but I am learning a life experience.

Reflection...
I wonder if all parents feel the same way I feel.I wonder if I was [am] that daughter that sent goose bumps to my parents' [grandparents'] spine.
Wassalam.

Comments

fleur vinca said…
how old is she..?
'Aini said…
20 years old.

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