Whenever I miss him, there will be moments that guaranteed to make me smile... or blush. I don't like to look at his picture. Pictures make me miss him more and make the distance between us more significant. I only display one picture of him in my purse, or should I say shade of him. It was taken during Gerak Gemilang's rehearsal session. I prefer to remember him in his sweetest moment.
It was after training at UNIMAS Sports Complex and we were sitting in a circle. I caught him eyeing me. I will never forget his expression when I met his eyes. My heart skipped a beat or two and then I laugh! G.O.T.C.H.A. Hahaha. "The smile on your face let me know that you need me, there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave"... that was the feeling.
"(...) Anak-anak kita jangan biar main kat jalan raya."
"(...) Anak-anak dah mandi atau belum mandi lagi macam ibunya?"
He used to joke about kids. The first time he did that, I smiled to myself. Kids scared me and I was having communication issue with kids. But when he mentions it, he made them sound so wonderful. Before I realized it, I was learning to 'handle' kids.
Before I met him and before he love me, the word 'family' only refer to the existing-growing family, never my own family. But this relationship 'suggested' to me that maybe having a family of my own could be wonderful and it won't kill my dreams and I want it, too.
"I give up. I give in. I let go. Let’s begin. Cause no matter what I do; my heart is filled with you."
We have loved each other for almost six years. There were ups and downs, there were laughs and tears. No matter how intense this relationship is, there are great moments I can remember. If you could see all those moments, you'll understand what motivate the patience.
Tell me. Can you forget and let go easily the one who makes you feel normal, or make your name sounded exceptionally special every time he said it, or makes you feel beautiful in his eyes?