Dari kerana mata...

Assalamualaikum, I am forever Team Edward. But I'd choose Jacob in real life. 1st because he is tan :p 2nd because he is real and more practical. 3rd because he is there [when the love, the life and the meaning walk away.]. Full stop. 1st: I have better perception towards normal-skinned-Malay guys. No offense, but tan guys seem more reliable than less tan guys. No fact, but that's what I think. 2nd: He is human, even if half. He is warm, which is good because I don't prefer anything cold (or anyone, in this case). 3rd: I said it once and for all - that love of my life (LOML) shouldn't leave me and shouldn't hurt me no matter for what reason - even if it involve the world peace. Once you leave, you leave for good. As for ‘Jacob’, well, considering LOML left, then I am so single. What's not to love in Jacob, anyway? :D Anyway, I do believe now, a ‘Jacob’ would not do any harm; especially if the ‘Jacob’ is as hot as Taylor Lautner. LOL! Wassalam.

Assalamualaikum, We keep on saying, a picture worth a thousand words. Instead of worth a thousand words, it tells stories - untold stories and stories unknown even by the self. I am not a photographer and I never learn the art of photographing, but I know from shows I watched on television - what pictures can tell - the photographer's feeling towards his/her model, the models' feeling toward the photographer, the feelings saturated among models. I've been 'listening' to a picture that speaks aloud stories in it. Of course, it's my desktop wallpaper - a picture of me and my friends, taken during a friend's wedding. I must say, the photographer must have seen it and he captured the moment of us sitting together - loosen up. The picture turns out stunning [what with some enhancement]. We all love it very much. Then it started to speak. ... he is the boyfriend ... she is the girlfriend ... she used to like him ... he used to like her ... she's comfortable wi...

Assalamualaikum, " CLARE : It’s hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he’s okay. It’s hard to be the one who stays . I keep myself busy. Time goes faster that way. I go to sleep alone, and wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I’m tired. I watch the wind play with the trash that’s been under the snow all winter. Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence? Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for Henry. He vanishes unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity . Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow? " " HENRY : ...I hate to be where she is not, when she is not. And yet, I am always going, and she cannot follow."...

Assalamualaikum, If you belong to a clique, probably you have asked this question: Who'll be the first to get married? I consider myself belong to a clique and I have asked the question; and the answer is... Azah Kamarudin. Azah weds her beloved, Ariff and we were attending their wedding reception on 21 November 2009. Well, 'attending' sounds underrate - we were breaking all the silence and wrecking all the guest protocol :D I hope we brought extraordinary sunshine and happiness into their wedding. Moments were captured in beautiful pictures - the professional wedding photographer who 'bullied' us with sorts of pose and the candid from Amir, Ikmal and Kamal [waiting to be uploaded!]. Lovely, lovely pictures... In car I said: Kawen juga Azah *sigh* It feels like we were just graduated from secondary school yesterday. With Azah already a wife, and Awin, Fahmi and Nana’s wedding around the corner, seem like the hourglass has been turn – the sand is filling the other h...

Assalamualaikum, In the bus, on my way to work; 20th November 2009. I was lost in my thoughts - mostly thinking about Edward Cullen and his golden eyes - maybe falling asleep as usual when I caught a conversation between two women behind me. Woman A was telling woman B about her husband falling and marrying another woman! Ouch. What a morning topic. I peek through the mirror and saw her somewhat-calm expression while she spoke. Then, she was saying: "My mother in law was asking me, whether the news was true, that her son have married another woman. What else I can say except "I don't know, most probably yes". She said she'll never accept that other woman into her family..." "He's always texting, even late at night." "I gave him an ultimatum; to choose between me or the woman. And he claim that he'd want to married that woman but remain our marriage..." "All patients have its limit. I'm off of it." I don't know ...

Assalamualaikum, Be not afraid of going slow, be afraid of standing still. I grew up with above saying. It's something my lovely aunty shared with me - I think she wrote it on a piece of paper and I always see that paper throughout the years. A simple phrase yet motivated - I know it today that it was edited from a Chinese proverb: " Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still ." It's sort of a principle, the way I see and live life. I told myself once and keep on repeating it - giving me peace and sanity each time I learn something new; making me less tense. It tailored my expectation towards other people's effort as well. My world spins fast - which I like it that way, but this phrase manages to keep me calm whenever some element slowed down. In other words, it saves me from feeling repugnantly less intelligent from others. Hahaha. And - I need to add this - set a goal that no matter how hard the learning was and the fact that I am so not c...

Assalamualaikum, I've just finished watching Stephanie Meyer's interview in the Oprah Winfrey Show; on Youtube. WOW! Awesome! Great! I don't know who Stephanie Meyer is to others, but she is special to me. She's the author who lured me to start reading English fiction and apparently a combustion of love for reading. Before Twilight Saga, I only read [mostly] non-fictions and fictions that were in line with self-improvement or psychology - stuff like Mitch Albom. But never like Twilight Saga - an epic of something impossible to exist - and other novels. Thanks to her, my reading frenzy is [insanely] increasing. I feel like forcing her to write new books every month so that I can have material to read. Hahahaha! She's a phenomenon! She's a 35 years old stayed-at-home mom turn multi gazillionaire. Despite that she never read vampire books - the only genre she never read - she didn't even write a journal about herself and she never even write a single short stor...

Assalamualaikum, "Rainy season Frog leap happily Girl looks out of window sadly" I have to say and you have to agree with me - that all come in pair. Even sad thing come with something happy. I might be sad of an occurrence [I am sad] but that same occurrence might make someone else happier. Do not deny it and do not "world-is-not-fair" me :p It's a fact, deal with it. Stuff happen for reason. Look on the bright side. "Sunshine is delicious, Rain is refreshing, Wind braces us up, Snow is exhilarating; There is really no such thing as bad weather,Only different kinds of good weather. Wassalam.

Assalamualaikum, 16:37 Saturday 14 November 2009. I was at USM's Hamzah Sendut Library; just finishing my slides for Monday's presentation - The Pareto Chart - somehow, I was 'joining' Ayu's MBA Accounting group discussion. There were 10 people discussing all-about: accounting and business and management and culture - stuff I have no idea at all. Some of them are taking this course full-time and another half are taking it part time. Well, I have to thank Ayu for 'inviting' me into her campus life today. It's a very precious moment, to be at USM and being here in this library; observing their discussion. Timeless if I may exaggerate. I think I could sit here forever! [Another exaggeration] I am so missing the campus life...Truly. Being there, seeing those people's effort in pursuing their ambition flamed the desire in me. [ Is it a sign?] The full-timers reminded me of the one I might have been if I studied smarter and harder. As for the part-timers ...

Assalamualaikum, It's 13 November 2009. I saw a crescent moon this morning from one of my home's window... just like the one for Twilight Saga New Moon. Unfortunately, I forget to capture the moment. *Ugh!!!* 13 days to go before New Moon Malaysia's premier. Oh, can 26 November please come faster! It's unbearable, this longing and waiting. This is madness. I am in need to get this New Moon out of my system so that I can continue with my task. More and more of New Moon on the net each single day. More pictures, more posters, more merchandises, more Kristen, more Edward, and more Jacob. News is flooding my Facebook page from both Twilight and Twilight Examiner. But, the fans would agree with me: We never had enough :D I'm looking forward to watch the break up scene and the saddest period in Bella's life. Kristen made it so real and I can't wait to feel the "big hole has been punched through my chest" sensation. Kristen's been explaining the break...

Assalamualaikum, This week is our final week with Ummi. Alhamdulillah, Ummi's transfer's application approved and she's on her way back to her beloved family - her caring husband, lovely children and her 1st granddaughter, Aleesya. Though we are so very sad to lose our Ummi, we are happy that Ummi got to be with her family everyday :D ~'Aini & Ummi Ummi has always been a mother figure of our little home. She is my Ummi even before Mak passed away, more after that. To have her makes our life different in so many ways compare to other; even though we are far away from our love ones, we somehow form a family bonding here on a foreign land. This rented house feels just like home - always warm to come home to. With Ummi leaving, I not quite sure what to expect. After Ummi's departure, another 3 housemates eventually leaving, too - Kak Maizan (transferred to her hometown), Kak Aju and Kak Mala (graduted from KPLI). And Aida too, after that - her husband transferred ...

I said: It's time to do something for myself. And now I'm hearing a voice singing this phrase from Reflection (I prefer Lea Salonga's version in Mulan): "...Now I see That if I were truly to be myself I would break my family's heart Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide Who I am Though I've tried When will my reflection show who I am inside? When will my reflection show who I am inside?" Especially the part: "That if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family's heart". I am weighing options in my life. There's an urge to make decisions - that happen to have impact to people around me - tough decisions. It feels like I am riding on a very fast transportation without any destination; the GPS giving options of turn - and I can't even put my mind together to make a choice... yet I have to make decision fast. Arrrrrgghhhh!!! I might explode, someday....