Ramadhan - Syawal 1430H/2009M


First of all, this isn’t a sour note. So please put up some smiles and cheers while reading it.

This year is the first year we are embracing Ramadhan and celebrating the Syawal without Mak. This is the most soundless Ramadhan I have ever felt in 25 years. It was soundless, but the excitement is there. Ramadhan has always brings a pleasant serene feeling to me; I always loves Ramadhan. In my immature-kind-mind, I’d say because the satan and jin are all being tied up… that is equal to no ghost. Hahaha. This year’s Ramadhan was even more serene as I know that Mak got to rest these 30 days and being blessed by HIM with lot and lot of love.

Talking about Ramadhan, there was reminiscence in it. I can’t help myself from thinking what she always cooked, or what was her favorite-must-cook dish for our family or for herself. One day, I past a stall selling nasi daging at bazaar and suddenly I missed her so much. She’d cook nasi daging for most of special occasion [or occasion she felt special]. Another must-have-dish would be deep fried anchovies with potato chips and sambal, and I am sure she’ll cook bubur gandum or sum sum or lompat tikam, if any of these mentioned by me. I was cracking my head to cook something special for my family on the last iftar. Well, I am not Mak and my cooking skills are nothing close to her. But at least they know that I did try hard to fill this Ramadhan with as much love as I can.

Ramadhan was fast. Not that it’s not good, but I only get two iftars with my family at Taiping and once at Melaka with Tok, Pak Tam’s and Achik’s family. Like a whoosh of wind, the Syawal is approaching. This year, we will be celebrating 1st of Syawal at Abah’s hometown in Kedah. It’s been a while since we celebrate 1st Syawal there; I can’t remember when. We were the host of Aidilfitri these past few years – with Tok staying with us then with Mak’s health condition. So, per Hakim’s, it is the time for us to celebrate Aidilfitri at Kedah.

I’d say this year’s Aidilfitri can be the most not-tiring-preparation. I don’t have to worry about curtains, or to clean the floor, the fans, the windows, nor that have I to dive deep into the cabinet grabbing the cutlery, wash them and later on got headache for analyzing on how to keep them in place for the rest of the week. I bought less kuih raya [save me money], only going back to Kedah on Saturday [Aidilfitri the next day], and the best part is I don’t have to worry about duit raya [I’m not the host. Yeay!].

As Ramadhan is about to end, I received questions on how am I feeling. I am fine, alhamdulillah, for the time being. I can’t say that I’ll still be fine when hearing the first takbir, or when there’ll be fewer hands to shake. I hope I’ll be fine, insyaAllah. I also hope my siblings are well, too. At least please don’t let them hold their feeling inside -- only to explode it all out someday. If we are going to cry then we will all cry. Being strong is good, but there’s no point in playing cool.

Sadness kills; so don’t be.
There are always bright sides of everything. My creativity doesn’t know how to write about it… But, if you would want to know you can always ask. The story sounds better in two way communications.

Salam Aidilfitri kepada semua. Salah silap harap dimaafi. Mohon halalkan makanan, minuman, wang ringgit dan ilmu.



salam aidilfitri, maaf zahir batin.
i hope Syawal brings as much light for u as it did in Ramadhan :)

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