Dear Anxiety


Dear Anxiety,

Two can play this game.
Bring it on.


This is the only thing I have in mind -- to fight this anxiety. Dah rasa bosan sebenarnya. On one evening, tiba-tiba shortness of breath lagi. Terus turun ke convenient store, beli ais krim.

I know what I need: 1) Help, and 2) Support.
I *am* reaching out for help.

It's the support part that sort of worries me. Tiba-tiba aku macam clueless nak reach out for support. Bukanlah tak ada support. I have the greatest family and friends. But... I guess I just don't know how to be on the receiving end. After a while, fighting and enduring has become so easy -- as easy as breathing -- that I forget there are other options.
When I reach out for support -- a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold on to -- I reach out hesitantly. It always come out as something that need to be read between the line. Rarely a clear 911 call.

People said, that I look too happy for anxiety. Well being happy does not make you immune to anxiety. Looks can be deceiving.
People asked, do I know the cause/source of this attack. I'd would say, this is the result for keeping most of everything inside. For insisting to endure whatever episodes in life alone. For playing strong even though I am standing with the last drop of strength. For being noble idiot.

Pertambahan usia (oooppss), office stress, hectic lifestyle -- these are the last grain of sand on the building tension.

Learn from me. Okay?
Okay lah. Nak sambung berperang dengan anxiety. Entri seterusnya kita cerita lagi.
Remember, whether it is heartbreak or anxiety, the drill is the same: you need to be healthy spiritually, mind, and body to win the fight.

Jangan berhenti berusaha ^_____^



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