Skip to main content

Dear Anxiety


Dear Anxiety,

Two can play this game.
Bring it on.


This is the only thing I have in mind -- to fight this anxiety. Dah rasa bosan sebenarnya. On one evening, tiba-tiba shortness of breath lagi. Terus turun ke convenient store, beli ais krim.

I know what I need: 1) Help, and 2) Support.
I *am* reaching out for help.

It's the support part that sort of worries me. Tiba-tiba aku macam clueless nak reach out for support. Bukanlah tak ada support. I have the greatest family and friends. But... I guess I just don't know how to be on the receiving end. After a while, fighting and enduring has become so easy -- as easy as breathing -- that I forget there are other options.
When I reach out for support -- a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold on to -- I reach out hesitantly. It always come out as something that need to be read between the line. Rarely a clear 911 call.

People said, that I look too happy for anxiety. Well being happy does not make you immune to anxiety. Looks can be deceiving.
People asked, do I know the cause/source of this attack. I'd would say, this is the result for keeping most of everything inside. For insisting to endure whatever episodes in life alone. For playing strong even though I am standing with the last drop of strength. For being noble idiot.

Pertambahan usia (oooppss), office stress, hectic lifestyle -- these are the last grain of sand on the building tension.

Learn from me. Okay?
Okay lah. Nak sambung berperang dengan anxiety. Entri seterusnya kita cerita lagi.
Remember, whether it is heartbreak or anxiety, the drill is the same: you need to be healthy spiritually, mind, and body to win the fight.

Jangan berhenti berusaha ^_____^



Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye Ben Jern

Oh my... another good bye. Why laaaaaaaaaa~!

Today, we bid farewell and we wish a great future to our one and only Loh Ben Jern of #BenHafiz FlyFM. Our heroes of insanity.
It's the final 30 minutes of flying with Ben's craziness... So sad! Huhuhuhuhu. Ben Jern has been on air since 10 PM last night - slumber party katanya - and I only sleep 3 hours plus, listening to him sambil kemas barang.
I know, some of you might think: "What is wrong with this girl, crying over a DJ...". Clearly, you don't know Ben, you never listen to these #FunnyBigBoys #BenHafiz and you never listen to Mrs. Boopathy and Pak Jamil or their Krappi Call. They are the only person on earth who can make Malaysians do *obviously* crazy stuff over a phone call. Hahahaha. Ben is the most adorable talking goat. LOL!

*** They are airing the Grandmother of All Krappi Call again - where Ben finally got krappi-ed *** I was laughing madly in the car earlier this morning... And then I cried. Oh it was su…

Celebrate the Love: Bones and Booth

I have exam at 2 pm today and I've been burning the midnight oil. But I really really really want to share this: Bones and Booth's wedding vow. Well sort of wedding conversation, actually.
I love them and I am happy that the characters finally get their happy ending.

To Bones, the coolest geek I ever known, and to Booth, congratulations!

Booth: "You know, I worked really, really hard on my vows, but you know, now that we're here—look, hey, do you remember the last time that we were here, standing right around this spot? It was right in the beginning, before we really knew each other. I was trying to get away from you, because you were irritating me, and you chased me down and you caught up to me. I said to you, 'Listen, I just have to get all my ducks in a row,' right, and then you said to me, [Brennan: "I can be a duck."]. Yeah. We had been chasing each other for a long time, been chasing each other through wars and serial killers and ghosts and sn…

It's Just a Day

Today is another tough day. Well, it feels tougher - but I have survive many days like this.
A colleague blow up on me. I irate a colleague badly today. That's the beginning of everything: people starts being honest and the truth come flooding.
I don't know - I really don't know - how I could have offended other people. I am the type who either stand in or walk away. I was scolded, I was put on my place, and I have had arguments. I am aware of that.
But most of the time, I am just here, sitting at my cubicle, doing my job. I thought if I talk less, comment less, gossip less, it would lessen the probability of any inconvenience caused by my personality. Oh yes, I am aware that I am a difficult person. That's why I choose to stay away from other people when the going got tough.
So self-aware and crying, I sent this to the closest colleague: If I have wronged you, tell me. So that I can apologize properly. If I have flaws, tell me. So that I can improve. Please do not resen…