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Awesome 30 turn 13. I mean 31. Hahaha

Assalamualaikum,

Alhamdulillah. Hari ni ai berusia #13 tahun.
Ooopps tersilap. #31 tahun.
Terima kaseh untuk semua ucapan dan doa yang baik-baik. Semoga Allah beri kebaikan yang berlipat kali ganda lagi kepada anda.
Jom doa:
Wahai Rabb yang membolak-balikkan hati. Teguhkanlah hatiku pada agamaMU.
Berilah rahmat kepada usiaku dengan ketaatan kepadaMU, baguskanlah amalanku serta ampunilah dosa-dosaku.
Amiin Allahhumma Amiin.

'Meraikan' hari ini bersendirian ditengah ramai orang. Sejak malam tadi lagi dunia tiba-tiba terasa sunyi sepi. Mungkinkah kesan daripada 4 dos Salbutamol? Hahaha.
Menghabiskan detik-detik terakhir diusia 30 tahun dengan membaca diari. Not much to read, similar to this blog. But last twelve months were the busiest and the toughest so far. Not just less writing, membaca pun kurang. Yang bertambah hanya jumlah buku yang dibeli.

Walaupun kalut dengan pelbagai perkara, usia 30 adalah usia yang paling menenangkan. It feels right to be 30. Ia bukan lagi usia kategori muda - tambahan lagi bila you're not yet married - but I know I am comfortable in this 3-series skin. Maybe it is because I have an old soul... Macam Edward Cullen tu. Hahaha. I can finally be myself! Well, bukanlah sebelum ni jadi orang lain, tapi usia 20-an is just not my cup of tea. Too many conflicts, too many dramas, very less stability. When I turn 30, I have less to worry, less drama, less conflict, less grey area. Hidup lebih mudah. Erti dan falsafah hidup juga lebih mudah difahami dan dicapai.

Aku hanya mahu jadi hamba Allah.
Aku mahu jadi Khadijah Khuwailid.
I just want to be happy and make other people happy.
I want to give more; love more.
And be loved.

That's what I will continue to do. I'll just love.

31, Mak, dan Emosi
Ouch~!

Sedikit emosi hari ini. Rasa sangat rindu kepada Mak. Birthdays were meaningless after Mak's demise. Penat menyambut hari lahir di perantauan, jauh dari keluarga. Dan hari ini bertambah sedih bila aku rasa orang yang aku perlukan berada jauh dari sisi aku. I need a hug.

*That*... Perangai beremosi macam tu come with age. Hehehe.

Dah 31 tahun, 'Aini. Mesti jadi lebih baik.
Kalau usia Rasulullah jadi pengukurnya, sudah separuh usia digunakan. Dimanfaat, atau dibazirkan?
Tinggal separuh lagi – InshaAllah, kalau Allah izikan. Bakal dimanfaat, atau dibazirkan?

Wahai Rabb yang membolak-balikkan hati. Teguhkanlah hatiku pada agamaMU.
Berilah rahmat kepada usiaku dengan ketaatan kepadaMU, baguskanlah amalanku serta ampunilah dosa-dosaku.
Amiin Allahhumma Amiin.

Wassalam.

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