“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.”
- Ziad K. Abdelnour
I am not strong, not smart, and not brave.
I honestly feel like I am not any of it lately. There were days where I questioned my decision to live with this particular personality and identity. There were moments when I ask myself why I need to wear this mask and then regret taking it off. Recently, I have been wondering what happen to the full-of-spirit girl - the girl who sees her path and took it positively and bravely. I don't feel like that girl anymore. Not so much.
Even strong, smart, and brave people need a moment to be their human self. You know, the sides that you rarely see or never know were there.
Sometime I just feel like frowning. I just want to take off the smiling mask and frown... freely. Without anyone asking me to justify the reason I am frowning. Without anyone who would tell me that it is okay to do that, but then added that a better person won't do it. Without anyone to try too hard to make the frowning disappear. Without anyone to judge me. Without anyone to fix me.
I just need someone who would say that it is fine; he/she won't say a word and will silently sit beside me.
Personally, as years goes by, I am more determined to simplify myself to fit into my complicated life. Not many things matter that much anymore. It's not that I don't want it; it's just not my current priority.
Today, I make it my top priority to be strong, smart, and brave - for myself and for those I love.