Dari kerana mata...

Assalamualaikum, Mr. A adalah kawan baru. Bertemu melalui larian. Aku suka beliau, isteri beliau dan anak perempuan mereka yang comel. Mereka adalah individu yang sekali lihat hati terus jatuh sayang; mendengar bicara hati berkenan. Kemudian mula berkawan di alam maya melalui Facebook. Kerana Mr. A ada perkaitan dengan Mr. R, aku beranggapan muka bukunya pun akan lebih kurang sama gayanya -- in English. Tapi aku silap. Tersenyum membaca puisinya. Semakin tersenyum melihat gaya bahasa dan penggunaan perkataannya. Semakin suka dengan cara fikirannya. Hari ini beliau berkongsi koleksi karya Sasterawan Negara Shahnon Ahmad. Terus aku tercari-cari "Tunggul-tunggul Gerigis". Bila tidak bertemu, laju aku bertanya. "Ada", katanya. "Mahukah dipinjam? Dulu baca di mana?". Sudah tentu aku mahu pinjam. Aku mahu sambung semula bacaaan. Terhenti pembacaan ketika aku di tingkatan 3 atau 4. Bukunya hilang entah ke mana. Bukunya pun bukan aku yang punya. Mungkin...

Assalamualaikum, Hujung tahun kali ni adalah hujung tahun yang paling mencabar dalam tempoh 7 tahun bekerjaya. It is already tough with one role. With two roles, it feels like a disaster waiting to happen. Oh wait -- it's three role! Huhuhuhu. Everything screams "deadline" and "urgent". Rasa nak *menjerit* jugak. Bila jiwa kacau, mental pun hilang keseimbangan. Emosi semakin sensitif. Aras tandanya berada di tahap tidak bagus bila mula rasa macam sunyi dan keseorangan -- lebih poyo dari biasa. Tengok sesama ibu mengandung berbual pun dah rasa nak menangis. Apa kes ni wahai 'Aini..?! Esok hari terakhir kerja tahun ini sebelum plant shutdown. Esok jugak hari terakhir kakak saya berkerja di kompeni ini. Kakak saya, Kak Far, telah mengambil keputusan untuk menumpukan fokus kepada her family and her lovely daughter. Kakak saya, rakan usrah saya... Kalau bukan kerana Kak Far yang bersungguh-sungguh nak adakan usrah dalam kompeni MNC ni, mungkin banyak ...

Assalamualaikum, Relay. When was my last relay? Baton. I have not heard or see a baton for what seems like forever. But I can confirm that I have  passed a baton - a long, long time ago. It might be during my primary school; the fittest time in my life. I was younger and you can push me towards anything - bola jaring, bola baling, 100 meter, relay, lontar peluru, lompat jauh, rounders - I'll just give it a try. Walaupun memang tak berbakat langsung dalam semua yang dicuba. Bakat satu hal. Niat pun tak begitu murni - just to complement my academic achievement. Sebab tu memang teruja bila dengar Revert Sports Club (RSC) akan menyertai PAAA Annual Round the Island Relay 2014, untuk kali keduanya. 72.7 km, 8 hours, 12 runners, 1 team . Sounds exciting to me! All the while, we run individually. This is a team run. Tak pernah terfikir pun nak berlari untuk RSC. I thought it would be cool to be a part of the effort - manager ke, penjaga barang ke, pemandu ke, or at lea...

Me and the cert. Yeah! Assalamualaikum, Alhamdulillah. I ran and completed my first 7 kilometers for Asics Penang Bridge International Marathon 2014 (APBIM2014) in Fun Run category. Yes, you read correctly, I ran 7 km. Hahaha. If you know me, the fact that I run is already surprising. What's more surprising, I actually sign up voluntarily for this. Macam tak percaya je masa dapat official receipt tu. My fellow runner friends were right. Firstly, I can run. Secondly, I will never know my limit if I did not take the opportunity to challenge myself. Thirdly, running during practice is totally different from running in an event with other runners. There were unspoken motivations when I ran with others passionate runners on the bridge yesterday. The Beginning Pinjam medal Ms. J.. Next year InshaAllah 10 km. I believe everything begins approximately 1 year ago, when I first met Mr. R. He is the one person who ever and so persistently offering me all s...

Four Walls and One Door Today, as any other time I ask Why me? And as any other time I ask back Why not me? A question I need to ask The answer already known It's like four walls with one door of decision and two windows of curse and bless Somebody is knocking on the door Should I answer it? Should I ignore it? Why should I? But why shouldn't I? More question I need to ask And the answer already known I sit down on the floor Listening to the knocking sound on the door From which window should I look out Before answering the door I think then I believe That curse or bless is not by semantics definition The windows can be of any type, shape or colors The sky will be the sky The grass will be the grass The flowers will still be the flowers In their true form When I see them through an open door With these given eyes and heart Four walls with one door and two windows The roof won't fal...

Assalamualaikum, "Because my love for you Is higher than words, I have decided to fall silent." ~ Khalil Gibran Biiznillah. Jika diizinkan Allah. Semoga aku diberikan pemahaman terhadap jawapan istikharah. Amiin Allahhumma Amiin.

Assalamualaikum, Alhamdulillah, genap 57 tahun kemerdekaan Tanah Melayu. Alhamdulillah, dari kemerdekaan 57 tahun dahulu tertubuhnya negara Malaysia, tanah tumpah darahku. Alhamdulillah, despite all imperfection, we are remembering and celebrating our Independence Day, still independent. Selamat memperingati 57 tahun kemerdekaan dan selamat diingatkan kenapa kita mahu kemerdekaan ini kekal. Ya Allah, rahmatilah negara kami dan kemerdekaan kami. Amiin Allahhumma Amiin. Wassalam. Warisan Di sini lahirnya sebuah cinta Yang murni abadi sejati Di sini tersemai cita cita Bercambah menjadi warisan Andai ku terbuang tak diterima Andai aku disingkirkan Ke mana harusku bawakan Ke mana harusku semaikan cinta ini Betapa Di bumi ini ku melangkah Ke utara selatan timur dan barat Ku jejaki Aku Bukanlah seorang perwira Gagah menghunus senjata Namun hati rela berjuang Walau dengan cara sendiri Demi cinta ini Ku ingin kotakan seribu janji Sepanjang kedewasaan ini ...

Assalamualaikum, Terjaga dari tidur pagi tadi dengan bermimpikan Abderrahman, anak kepada Allahyarham Ahmad Hakimi Hanapi, Pembantu Juruterbang MH17. Imej anakanda Abderrahman yang didukung rakan bapanya ketika solat jenazah pada hari Jumaat semacam terlekat difikiran. Jatuh sayang kepadanya... Kesemua 298 mangsa yang terkorban dalam tragedi MH17 membawa cerita dan pengajaran yang berbekas di hati. Tapi entah kenapa, kisah keluarga Allahyarham Ahmad Hakimi, isterinya Asmaa dan anakanda Abderrahman terasa lebih dekat dan lebih peribadi. Instead of me reaching out to them, I feel like they are reaching out to me... 'Perkenalan' dengan mereka membuatkan aku mahu menjadi hamba Allah yang lebih baik. Aku mahu lebih dekat dengan Allah. Aku mahu kutip lebih ilmu untuk mempersiapkan diri di jalan Allah. Kata-kata bapa kepada Allahyarham Ahmad Hakimi umpama seal kepada banyak perkara... Ya, apa yang terjadi ini telah membuktikan betapa Allah itu Maha Pengasih dan Maha ...

Assalamualaikum, 22 Ogos 2014 Hari Berkabung Malaysia Hari ni Malaysia berkabung. Hari ni Malaysia menyambut kepulangan 20 mangsa tragedi MH17... Mereka telah pulang ke destinasi yang abadi dan pasti - ke sisi Illahi. Alhamdulillah, selepas penantian yang panjang, akhirnya kini mereka pulang ke pangkuan keluarga, rakan-rakan serta negara yang menyayangi mereka. Bagi aku, simpati dan empati adalah sifat manusia. Tidak ada kayu ukur atau peraturan tentang cara tepat untuk menzahirkannya. Jadi zahirkanlah dengan cara yang terbaik dan paling manusia. Berkongsi kesedihan tidak akan mengurangkan kegembiraan (kepada yang memberi) dan tidak mengurangkan sengsara (kepada yang menerima), tetapi mereka yang pernah kehilangan orang tersayang akan faham keperluannya. I don't know any of them personally, but this tragedy has brings us together. While driving to work this morning, I can't shake the thought that somehow I might have crossed path with one of them.....

While driving to office this morning, BenHafiz delivered the sad news - my favorite (fictional character) doctor has passed away. At the age of 63, Robin Williams - the Hunter 'Patch' Adams that prescribe laughter, the Mr. Keating that redefined poetry, the Peter Pan that taught us happy thoughts, the robot who wants to be a human being it break your heart when he finally did - passed away. What's sadder, the word "suicide" and "depression" appear together in the same line. I've seen him in many movies, but Patch Adams stuck with me. I don't know how we first met, but I am happy to say that it is through Patch Adams. I can't recall the movie in detail, but the soul and spirit still ticks inside me. He made us laugh and taught us happy thoughts yet he was battling depression. I can only hope that he was not fighting alone and that he was loved till the end. O captain my captain, thank you. You will be missed.

You pick up a gun. You know it is loaded with real bullets. You aim it at your friend. With the knowledge of the consequences, will you pull the trigger? If you know that your action or words or treatment to another person would certainly hurt him/her, will you still proceed with it? Being the one who always took the bullets, I can't seem to understand how a responsible and sane person can do that. I do not mean random spontaneous action - that I understand. I can't understand people who demand people to accept them for who they are but refuse to accept the other party for who they are. Not just that, they blame the other party for being weak and sensitive and insist them to puff up while they go around breaking heart. Bam! Bam! Bam! You just kill a soul. Again.

Assalamualaikum, What's happening in Gaza and then the downing of MH17 really hits me hard this time. They are no words to describe the emotions flowing through me. While I was sleeping, journeying the temporary death - the world changed. New history has been written. While I was sleeping, journeying the temporary death - some people return to Allah, answering The Call nobody can avoid. Murdered. Yes, humanity has failed. But it is not dead, not yet. There is still hope. Islam is the religion of hope. Our hope is with Allah. The Creator. Ya Allah, Hanya Engkaulah yang kami sembah dan hanya padaMU kami mohon pertolongan. Wassalam.

Assalamualaikum, I miss blogging!!! Sejak mula menulis di blog, tak pernah terbayang akan 'bercuti' menulis selama ini. How long has it been - 6 months? I even missed my editorial entry (January - birthday), customary entry in memory of Mak (it's the 5th year, sob sob), CNBLUE and a whole bunch of fascinating events in my life. Tak dapat juga menulis tentang World Cup Brazil 2014 (my darling Buffon missed Italy first game and my darling Casillas, well, did pretty bad for Spain's first game). Huhuhuhu. Ottoke~ It is not writer's block. It is time matter. Or maybe management matter. Hope to catch up with writing soon. p/s: Please excuse my grammar.