Pretty?



Photo: Bu-yong from Rooftop Prince

I don't know which is worst - believing you are not pretty or to have nobody telling you that you are pretty.

Fly FM Morning Rock Crew fixed a guy's problem last Friday morning - his girlfriend is addicted to KPop and obsessed with plastic surgery. I was wondering if she is really not pretty when Hafiz pokes her background bubble. She sobbed to the question before finally admitting that she had rough childhood. There was not much love and no one ever told her that she is pretty. So she is not necessarily lack in anything.

I grew up believing I am fat and not pretty - I said [shout] to my radio. My cousins planted that idea in my mind. In my past, I wore L size garments; because that is the size I see myself through other people's eyes (There was one time when I chose a XXL t-shirt for a jamboree event). I actually believed that until early 20s. Then I started to gain my consciousness and confident bit by bit. I am not Miss Universe-ly pretty, but I am just as fair as any girl could be. I am not model slim, but I am okay. There is nothing wrong with myself. I deserve a slap for letting other people messing up with my mind.

It is not fair for me to make it sound that simple. It is not. I am among the lucky ones who made it through this. It is not a fall to endure. It is more of a climb; a process of building something. Long or short step; fast or slow pace; you must take the first step and keep going on with your eyes on the peak. You need to hold on to yourself and pick up the pieces. I took 20 over years to do that and I am still climbing and building.

Pretty or not pretty, it is up to me.

The world can crowned you the prettiest of all, but if you did not believe that you are pretty, it would mean nothing. You will always have the dissatisfaction in you. In search of perfection, you will find more flaws. But if you can embrace the flaw and be content of what you have and who you are, it is possible to live a perfect life. Somebody said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and you're what you eat - so be in the loving eyes; feed yourselves with good food; and feed your soul with good input.

I always told my cousins that you need to believe that you're pretty, and then people will see you from your eyes. It is inside-out! Look into the mirror and tell yourself that you are just perfect and nothing less than that.

We can't help on the genetic part, but we can do so many by creating a more loving and compassionate environment. Tell a child that they are pretty, compliment them for being a good person, encourage them to see themselves positively, and help them to develop good self-esteem. Always try to find something good in other people, even the smallest criteria - and tell them that.

Let us cherish ourselves and each person around us -- for exactly who they are.