Betrayal Cuts Deep



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Betrayal cuts deep; it leaves ugly scar that would never fade.

Be-tra-yal: even the sound of it feels like paper cut.

When the shoes were put on to my feet, I don't know how to walk it. I was petrified. The runaway vanished before my eyes. The shoes sank me deep into the darkness. I am the kind who has the what-I-will-do-if-it-happen-to-me list. Funny when it bumped into me, it knocks me down so hard to the ground; I can't stand up to fight back. I remain on the ground throughout the stages of grief.

I finally tossed the shoes into the trash, but it is still there.

The numbness, the pain, the hatred, I will always have the ugly scar.

That is my story when I was betrayed by my partner in commitment.

So when I received the grieving news from someone close to me, that she is betrayed by her husband, it hits my yet-to-heal ugly scar.

I would not dare to put myself in her shoes, because it would be more painful. I lost everything back then when a guy betrayed me; she's betrayed by her husband, her everything.

This post is not to blame any individual. I stand on the same side even if a girl betrayed a guy. I would be on the same side even if the betrayer betrayed! It is not gender thing-y, it is not something anybody deserved.

What I want to say is, it could happen to anyone of us. But we must always choose to avoid doing so. Do not break a heart. You never know how severe it can be. You never know the amount of pain you have inflicted on a person. You never know...

Trust is built. When you knocks and destroy it, what is left is the remaining of it. Apologies did not undo anything. But forgiveness heals.

And forgiveness is earned.