Twenty Nine: Older and Wiser
Alhamdulillah. It is a week after my 29th birthday. Syukur kepada Allah. Tiada Tuhan yang disembah melainkan Allah dan Muhammad SAW adalah pesuruh Allah.
Doaku, seperti yang diriwayatkan oleh al-Tabarani yang telah diajarkan oleh Rasulullah kepada seorang lelaki: "Ya Allah, aku memohon daripadaMU jiwa yang tenang, beriman dengan pertemuan denganMU, redha dengan ketentuanMU dan berasa cukup dengan pemberianMU". Semoga setiap nafas yang tersisa adalah nafas yang mentauhidkan Allah; sehingga hujung nyawa...
Amiin Ya Rabb, Amiin Ya Rabb, Amiin Ya Rabb.
"Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength." - Betty Friedan
This is my 29th birthday. I know each birthday is special, but birthdays are not supposed to be remembered only by celebration, wishes and cake. So to make a difference, I had a birthday mission. Alhamdulillah, the mission was successfully accomplished! It was nothing big, but was very satisfying. I didn't get normal birthday celebration - I was in Penang - but it has value; I feel like I am growing old for a good reason. In a good way. Thus, this will be my new tradition. A give-back-to-the-community birthday mission, starting from this year and forward, InshaAllah.
The best birthday gift [other than doa and thoughts from all] come in the form of friends. The week before my birthday, I received a friend request via my Facebook. It is my long lost primary school friend! Subhanallah. Maha Suci Allah. I was thinking about her lately. It is a miracle. We were good friend, best friend. We were parted 15 years ago when we go to different secondary school after our UPSR. She's now married with two wonderful kids.
A day after my birthday, I received great news: a friend is getting married. It is the happiest birthday gift, ever. Kebahagiaan ialah melihat orang yang kita sayang bahagia. We only know each other for a year maybe. But the bonding is like we have known each other longer than that. She has challenging life. Even her wedding did not come so easily. For that, I am thankful that Allah has given her someone to share the love and life with her. My darling friend Najwa, Baraka Allahu Lakuma wa Baraka alikuma, Wa jamaah baina kuma fee khair. May Allah bless you and shower his blessings on you and bring you together in goodness.
Breakable But Not Vulnerable
"Porcelain is a ceramic material made by heating raw materials, generally including clay in the form of kaolin, in a kiln to temperatures between 1,200 degrees Celcius and 1,400 degrees Celcius. The toughness, strength, and translucence of porcelain arise mainly from the formation of glass and the mineral mullite within the fired body at these high temperatures." - Wikipedia
I have been seeing myself as the clay and what happened these few years were the high temperatures. It changed me from just a clay to a porcelain; a China. It looks fragile but it is tougher than it looks. Yes, you can smash it into pieces. But it won't be as easy as you might think. It is comfortable to put it that way. The high temperature is nasty but the outcome is pretty. But then there is this question: Why after the rough process, porcelain still turns out fragile, isn't it worth to be unbreakable?
Well, nothing is really unbreakable in this world. Even diamond can be shaped and can be turned into powder. This is the misconception I used to have. I thought if I could survive a tough situation, nothing could break me - at least not the same event. I became overconfident. I became careless. Then I break. That is the trick, I guess. Challenges in life weren't meant to make anybody less human. It is supposed to make a better human with higher resistance.
It is okay to be breakable. That is our human side. That is the side we want to remain no matter how strong we are. Just don't be vulnerable. Porcelain is breakable. That's why it is to be kept in a proper place, a place that would protect it. Someone who appreciates porcelain knows how to take care of it. They wouldn't leave a China at the edge of a table. Read: Life and love is for the one who can appreciate it.
I have had ideal dreams and I have cherished the complicated side of me. I have made my statement and I have had my speeches. In summary, I have lived my twenty something years so far pretty much excitingly!
So what else I want to do next?
I just want to be a better person. A good person. A good daughter. A good sibling. A good family member. I want to be someone who sincerely forgives. I don't want to be angry anymore, but if I need to be angry, I want it to be for something worthy. I want to be able live peacefully. I want to enjoy whatever weather outside my window while sipping [even only] a glass of warm water. I want to take care of my family. I want to fulfill my responsibility. I want to inspire. I want to share love.
I just want to make the world a better place. And I want to be able to say, each time I look into the mirror, that the wrinkles are from all the smiling :)
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been." - Mark Twain
Me and my Bubble As-Syifa... Semoga mampu bersyukur dan tersenyum
dalam setiap kejadian yang ALLAH rencanakan. Amiin Ya ALLAH~
Life and Death
If I can assume how long I can live, I can say that I have lived 29 years of my whole life. I have lived half of my life. But I can't. Death is not something we human could foresee. We celebrated birthdays year after year, but we never know how much we have used up from our life. If you could know you will be stranded on top of a mountain from 7 days before being rescue, you'd save the supplies to lasts that long. What happen if you didn't know when you'll be rescued?
That's the point. You must value the life Allah has given to you. Birthdays are steps closer to death.
Don't waste your life, don't blow your chance.