Wednesday, May 22, 2013


Namanya Muhammad Umar Hidayat bin Tun Hafidzul Hakim. Lahir lewat petang Ahad 12 Mei 2013, Hari Ibu. Kata adik ipar dalam SMS pada malamnya: "Mak Long dah tau ke baby dah lahir? Kali ni betul-betul Muhammad". Hahaha. Maklumlah, masa Sumayyah sudah salah sangka. Sampaikan Moochi tak mesra dengan Mak Long akibat dipanggil 'Muhammad' ketika dalam kandungan.


"Panggil Umar. Sorry Haffizzatul Aini Aton :)"
Begitu tag adikku pagi seterusnya, sempena memperkenalkan Umar di Facebook.

Umar. I reserve this one name for my son.
"Dah agak dah. No problem. Aku tetap akan namakan anak aku Umar :p" balas aku. Kecewa? Not to that extend. Memang kami berdua suka kepada Saidina Umar R.A. Dan memang telah disebut-sebut hajatnya menamakan (andai anak lelaki) Umar. My Umar will be next!

"Papa Kimi dah ambil nama anak Mak Long. Jadi Umar ni Mak Long yang punya", kataku berseloroh dengan Hakimi.
Naif Hakimi menjawab: "Kimi taktau pun Mak Long ada anak".
Dush! Such a pure soul, I'd say.
Hakimi dan Umar

Sayang sungguh Hakimi dengan Umar. Maklumlah sama-sama lelaki. Mungkin Hakimi berasa akhirnya dia ada kawan. Siap minta diambil gambar bersama. Tapi Hakimi memang abang yang penyayang. Masa Sumayyah lahir pun Hakimi nampak gembira bertambah seorang lagi adik. Masa tu Hakimi panjatkan harapan, Sumayyah janganlah selasak Syifa - 'membuli' abang. Mana tahu Sumayyah sama saja dengan Syifa. Hahaha. Umar - entah bagaimana personalitinya. Mungkin selasak Bubble dan Moochi. Mungkin berperibadi halus dan lebut macam Hakimi.

Melihat Hakimi, Syifa, Sumayyah dan Umar membuat aku berfikir. Anak-anak perlu dibesarkan menjadi insan yang lebih baik daripada ibu bapa / penjaga. Bukan setakat sama, apatah lagi kurang.
Aku mahu anak-anak ini membesar menjadi insan yang lebih baik daripada aku dan kami semua.


Monday, May 20, 2013

Final Bouquet


Delayed post; original posting date: 15 -21 April 2013

In "The Wedding Planner" Mary (J.Lo) said that if you can't wed, you planned them. As for me, if I am not the bride, I can always be the bridesmaid. True enough, in 3 years I have been a bridesmaid for 7 times. 27 Dressess much? Hahaha. I find myself unable to say no to the brides and I do jokes about being a bridesmaid for 27 times; but I never thought it could reach this integer.

Thus, before another 20 -- On a bright sunny 13th of April, wearing a beautiful peplum dress, surrounded by family and friends, on a day where everybody is happy, with the scent of fresh flowers floating in the air, while I walked the 7th bride to the her dais -- this bridesmaid decide that it is time to retire. I 'catch' my final bouquet. I actually love the wedding songs!

Why now? Let's see... Firstly, because I believe I have walked every possible bride on their wedding day. There shouldn't be any bride who needs me as a bridesmaid anymore. What about my one and only sister? Nah. She needs me on her wedding day, but not as the bridesmaid. Then comes number two: It's time to take up new role. I can't be a bridesmaid forever. Even if I'm not going to be a bride, it is time to prepare myself to organize a wedding. On the family side, I mean, not the wedding planner. You know, my younger siblings have reached their married age. In addition to those, it really doesn't feel right to bridesmaid somebody younger than you. Haha.

Bridesmaids Trivia

Most hated bridesmaid 'advise': "Don't overshadow the bride"
That is PURE NONSENSE. How could a bridesmaid overshadow the bride? On her big day? Come on. This nonsensical sentiment needs to end, A.S.A.P. And I'd say, if there's a bride who sees her bridesmaid as a threat, she might as well consider not having a bridesmaid in the first place. And for the bridesmaid, who purposely tries to overshadow the bride, you better stop doing that darling or you deserve a bouquet to your face.

Most favorite myth: Bridesmaid-ing steals your shine and delayed your own wedding.
I'd originally start with a "pffftttt". But given the situation that I am not yet married, I take that back. My current situation is caused by a lot of thing, but bridesmaid-ing is not one of it. It is just not my turn, yet. I think that's the reason I got to be a bridesmaid for 7 times. Other girls were intimidated by this silly myth! Hahaha.

Most favorite part in a wedding: The family and friends' assembly.
Wedding is an event where everybody who shares the same love connections gathered and make it extra special day. It is an event of love. I have a big family. My family member scattered all over Malaysia. Wedding is number one priority event we would try not to miss and that's when we get to see each other. Being a bridesmaid, I think meeting the brides' family and friends is my favorite part (especially when the bride is a friend). I find myself overexcited about that, that I can't sleep one week before the event. Hahaha.

Picture story:
This is my 7th bridesmaid shoes and the flower here is
kusudama I’ve been working on. Kusudama normally
has 5 petals. But for this entry, I made a special
7-colored-petals  kusudama to symbolize the events.

About My Wedding

Me and wedding; we have a long history. I was in a place where I could not escape the wedding preparation: I am that sweet niece and cousin. In addition, at that time wedding was prepared from scratch. So each hands count. And I am the perfect one in a perfect age to understand instruction and meet the expectation, the one with most available time plus the skills. How could I say 'no'? I don't really into this wedding errand things at first. But from one wedding to another, I started to gain my momentum. Practice does make perfect. After a while, wedding preparation becomes something fun to do. Pressuring, but fun.

But as Mary and Jane, when it comes to my own wedding, I'd like it to be simple. I had big dreams. But as I understand more about love and the world surrounding it, that dream also changed. I come to see that wedding reception does not define the depth of love and that a wedding does not defined by how lavish you spent. In honoring a new beginning and the extension of love - it must be with the one, witnessed and celebrated by family and friends who love both of us unconditionally.

I believe and I hope, that is all I need to be happy on my wedding day.


Friday, May 17, 2013



Suddenly all spinning wheels come to a halt. At least for now. The hardest part has ended. Phew.
Cue in Iron Man Three's "Battle Finale"!
Usain Bolt poses!
Winning dance!
Princess-in-hanbok pose, breathe properly and smile sweetly...
"Alhamdulillah, we made it alive".

In my tired mind, that was how the moment celebrated yesterday. The last part doesn’t really fit the theme song, the princess-in-hanbok. I just don't care. Hahaha.

We're only half way through everything. But we sure have covered the 20-80 part. Like I said, the hardest part has ended. I believe that if we can survive that part, we can survive the whole deal. 

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." - Sam Ewing
Winning Personality

Somehow, in between sleepless nights, weird dreams, extended working hours and excessive tasks, I feel like my newly altered personality can't win the battle. Gah. I feel like a failed scientist.
You know, dark powers always portrayed as more powerful and cool while the good sides, the white magic always lack of something and always in need for hard-to-get stuff like true love kiss? That is exactly how I feel. I feel like this sweet, all-positive and kind personality won't fight well. I feel like I need to make a deal with my 'dark side' for some leverage. I need the perfectionist melancholy girl. She's a better fighter.

Luckily I manage to snap out of it. I must loosen some screws along the way.
Winning a battle is just one thing. The bigger question is who do you want to see in the mirror after the winning? Certain things are just not worth to trade for whatsoever victory.

Winning Recipe

I agree with Mr. Theodore Roosevelt: "With self-discipline most anything is possible”.

So here is my winning recipe:

#1: Self-discipline
#2: Good management - time and resource
#3: Proper planning
#4: Wise strategy
#5: Ethics
#6: The commitment to obey #1 to make use of #2 until #5.

Yes sir!

We All Need Good Theme Song

One of my colleague points out that I manage to keep my skin pimple-free even under such pressure. Well... ya. At least this round my skin did not reacted that way. She can be mean sometime. Any tips? Nope. Maybe try to listen to nice songs while walking that pressure. No sad melancholy songs, please. Those cause pimples. Big ones.

I highly recommend instrumental. Go for classical music, string quartet. They really did something to your brain. Modern classics will also do the tricks.

I listened to:
1. CN Blue; live concerts are preferable
2. Vivaldi
3. Yiruma; live concerts are preferable
4. The Piano Guys
5. My favorite Korean songs

Origami Therapy

I find making origami very therapeutic.
I can't believe I write that. Hahaha.
I was too busy and tired for retail therapy; and comfort foods I ate burnt to feed the brain. I can't allocate time or peace of mind to write or read.
One fine day, I borrowed my roommate’s wedding magazine and fall in love with some paper flowers featured in that issue. I Google it the next day - it's called kusudama. The next thing I know I was on a shopping trip (when I said I don't have time for retail therapy!) for papers. I actually find peace making them -- the picture for this entry is one of them. Now I'm making a more complicated folding - kusudama butterfly, in smaller size.

------------------- xx

Like my manager said, "one less thing on your very full plate". New challenge is on the way while the final part of current battle continues. It's good to be back, to be able to write something. But first thing first. I'm off, for now.

"Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have." - Norman Vincent Peale