tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12109246054906936062024-02-09T22:07:55.157+08:00Dari kerana mata...'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.comBlogger370125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-62449266335353314742020-12-22T00:57:00.005+08:002020-12-22T00:57:52.175+08:00Distraction<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://img.picturequotes.com/2/17/16546/you-cant-do-big-things-if-youre-distracted-by-small-things-quote-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="660" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="http://img.picturequotes.com/2/17/16546/you-cant-do-big-things-if-youre-distracted-by-small-things-quote-1.jpg" width="303" /></a></div><p><br /></p><br /> I don't have the privilege to be distracted by small things. No. I can't afford to be distracted at all.<p></p><p>Don't you hear your time ticking? Do you honestly believe you have done enough in this life?</p><p>Get yourself together.</p>'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-84156678508118292922020-12-14T19:30:00.000+08:002020-12-14T19:30:03.149+08:00Noktah<div>Satu noktah</div><div><br /></div><div><div>Di penghujung ayat</div><div>Dalam bab akhir</div><div>Perenggan akhir</div><div>Di muka surat yang paling akhir</div><div><br /></div><div>Yang kalau kau cuba sambung</div><div>Hurufnya menjadi api</div></div><div>Tintanya adalah bahan bakar</div><div>Dan maksudnya adalah celaka</div><div><br /></div><div>!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Kukatakan dengan tegas,</div><div>14 Disember 2020</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-49653416681086311852020-06-27T18:07:00.001+08:002020-06-27T18:08:05.956+08:00Fasa-fasa Yang Telah Berlalu<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilX_HPkxfMREIE6lrb3qBwRSFt2kUNDkwULkuSq8k96tBFyhwuqSERBAxYiqyRrVs4LxK4_S_SpFX9NX5iml6bYred9CtPQlLoQg_cuqbUXD0uiKYbLuvbJBrqLE7t6CF9aI5SBWRMIto/s339/bebeska-oprema-koja-ne-bi-trebalo-da-se-podaruva-2+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="259" data-original-width="339" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilX_HPkxfMREIE6lrb3qBwRSFt2kUNDkwULkuSq8k96tBFyhwuqSERBAxYiqyRrVs4LxK4_S_SpFX9NX5iml6bYred9CtPQlLoQg_cuqbUXD0uiKYbLuvbJBrqLE7t6CF9aI5SBWRMIto/s320/bebeska-oprema-koja-ne-bi-trebalo-da-se-podaruva-2+%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>Fasa </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">berhe</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">n</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">ti seketika.</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kita rasa manusia yang menentukan langkah seterusnya. Tapi sebenarnya Allah lah yang menggerakkan hati & kaki.</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fasa meneruskan perjalanan.</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kita rasa manusia yang memilih untuk melangkah atau tinggal tetap di satu tempat. Tapi sebenarnya Allah lah yang menggerakkan atau memberhentikan hati & kaki.</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fasa jalan terus tanpa penyesalan.</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Allah lah yang menggerakkan atau memberhentikan hati & kaki. Bila seorang manusia telah beristikharah lalu membuat pilihan, maka bertawakallah kepada Allah. Sesungguhnya Allah telah mempermudahkan bahagian yang paling sukar iaitu membuat keputusan. Jalan terus tanpa kebimbangan.</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Semoga sampai ke destinasi meraih redho Allah.</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;" /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dengan kaki mahupun dengan hati.</span>'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-69690537536930340822020-04-15T19:16:00.002+08:002020-04-15T19:16:50.836+08:00Face to Face with Painful Memories<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I believe that I still remember some painful memories because I still can't get over the feeling of being schooled by the experience. Once I accepted the fact that life need to interfere & gave the idiot in me a good slap to *save* me, I'll be fine. Hahaha. Gitu.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">One day, one fine day, it will become something I am thankful for.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Until that day come, I am going to face the painful memories & look straight into the eyes. I don't plan to lose. So *you* better be something that make me a better person or get lost.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif, Arial, Helvetica;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; white-space: pre-wrap;">There.</span></span></div>
</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-29270250621397018872019-05-21T17:26:00.000+08:002019-05-21T17:26:13.133+08:00Membayangkan Saja<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Membayangkan Saja<br />
<br />
Aku adalah yang selalu membayangkan<br />
Sepucuk surat ditulis jemari<br />
Sebait lagu menggambarkan memori<br />
Pergi berderai air mata dan mimpi<br />
Lama atau sebentar<br />
Tak hirau kau di sana<br />
Aku masih membayang<br />
Di waktu lampau aku mencatat rencana besar<br />
Melihat kau sebagai tujuan<br />
Sementara kau melempari berlembar kertas hitam<br />
Seperti merasa tiap lagu adalah aku<br />
Tersenyum sendiri seperti bersama<br />
Adakah hatimu terbuka<br />
Untuk bisa mencoba cintaku?<br />
<br />
Seperti yang dibacakan oleh Shandy Aulia ketika Sheila On 7 Konser Spesial Live In Trans TV 2017.<br />
<br /></div>
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Y7Kp-EYCo3c?start=2063" width="560"></iframe><br /></div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-6111343611261055392019-05-09T09:52:00.001+08:002019-05-09T09:53:34.634+08:00Harapanku<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs6jdbnWZuie6iGzdYygbsWF6009RmPTxiyY7j2YmLReKXePyfxM9xS5215QXKs1UlG2z_dkzS4jsKFH4q6oQ8ou8MWapJMvhdA2EpNKVIzEmyKk9X6QUfaBTaqxWTOoKDVagwSnuFCnw/s1600/59909603_10157292584089444_7991762303273926656_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1350" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs6jdbnWZuie6iGzdYygbsWF6009RmPTxiyY7j2YmLReKXePyfxM9xS5215QXKs1UlG2z_dkzS4jsKFH4q6oQ8ou8MWapJMvhdA2EpNKVIzEmyKk9X6QUfaBTaqxWTOoKDVagwSnuFCnw/s320/59909603_10157292584089444_7991762303273926656_o.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
Aku selalu berharap<br />
Langitmu sentiasa cerah<br />
Agar hujan tidak membuatmu<br />
Teringat kepada kesukaanku<br />
<br />
Aku selalu berharap<br />
Hujanmu sekadar air dari langit<br />
Bukan hujan terkandung rindu<br />
Atau ingatan yang patut dilupakan<br />
<br />
Aku selalu berharap<br />
Tidurmu memadamkan segala<br />
Lalu kau bangun sebagai lupa<br />
Lupa aku dan lupa kita<br />
<br />
'Aini<br />
Resolusi Cinta<br />
9 Mei 2019</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-37360474631695270602019-02-01T14:40:00.000+08:002019-02-01T14:40:23.887+08:00Cinta kan Hidup<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjagwZfFSo7Zu0DZ8b4HzrqFH7Fu_tCMr0kWCthK-NXaorg4SIWnV3SiA9iGXtV6ieEABkL95C4iz8C-oeqt4CgO6UftKOkmiAE37kDVJxTb5016qBmtRt9M6zfz8HZnVuZ22x-iRg6HzA/s1600/IMG_20190119_072501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjagwZfFSo7Zu0DZ8b4HzrqFH7Fu_tCMr0kWCthK-NXaorg4SIWnV3SiA9iGXtV6ieEABkL95C4iz8C-oeqt4CgO6UftKOkmiAE37kDVJxTb5016qBmtRt9M6zfz8HZnVuZ22x-iRg6HzA/s320/IMG_20190119_072501.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
Dalam pementasan hidupku, ada satu babak di mana kehidupan sekadar tidak mati. Umpama terapung dipermukaan air & ikut menelusuri aliran sungai tanpa peduli. Aku pernah begitu. Tapi Allah telah mengangkatku keluar darinya & mendudukkan aku ke kerusi ibrah. Allah telah membukakan pintu & jendela, telah mendorongku ke lorong serta jalan yang baik-baik.<br />
Aku jadi menghargai kehidupan yang singkat ini. Bukan mencintai dunia, tapi aku menghargai peluang yang hadir di setiap hari aku masih hidup. Tiap detik walau sekejap andai aku dapat memaknainya dengan helaan nafas ringan, lebih bagus lagi jika ada senyuman.<br />
<br />
Kita menjadi seperti insan yang kita cinta.<br />
Justeru, aku harap jika aku pernah dicinta, hidupkanlah ia dengan penghargaan-penghargaan kepada kehidupan yang singkat ini. Hiduplah baik-baik dengan cinta, hiduplah baik-baik juga setelah cinta ternoktah.<br />
<br />
Cintaku bukan cinta membuat mati. Malah aku terhinakan kalau itu terjadi.<br />
Cintaku - simpanlah kalau ia membuat hidup, lepaskanlah buat mengurangi sakit.<br />
Cintaku adalah cinta yang terus maju ke depan. Cinta yang ingin hidup. Hidup baik-baik di bawah payung Rahmah Allah.<br />
<br />
Sebesar & sedalam manapun cinta kita, cinta kita kepada Allah lebih lagi. Maka kau & aku adalah dua manusia - pencinta - yang terus hidup, memohon bantuan serta petunjuk dari Allah. Memohon agar yang luka disembuhkan, yang sakit dipulihkan, yang hilang digantikan dengan yang lebih baik.<br />
Aku percaya hal yang satu ini.</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-14619673507158482732018-12-04T18:44:00.003+08:002018-12-04T18:44:52.625+08:00Sajak Separa Siap<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sajak Separa Siap<br />
<br />
Kita menyeberangi jambatan<br />
Yang menitikkan noktah<br />
Kepada sajak yang ditulis<br />
separa siap<br />
<br />
Di dalamnya terdapat kisah indah<br />
Harapan serta kemahuan-kemahuan<br />
dan banyak kemungkinan<br />
<br />
Tapi takdir berkata<br />
Ya di sini saja<br />
Biarkan sajaknya separa siap<br />
Biarkan kisahnya sekadar di paragraf<br />
Biarkan harapannya mengapung<br />
bersama kemahuan-kemahuan lain<br />
Dan berlalu sahaja<br />
seperti kemungkinan yang kekal<br />
Kemungkinan<br />
<br />
'Aini Aton<br />
4 Disember 2018<br />
Terus-terusan meyakinkan...</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-63272654464755172042018-12-04T16:16:00.000+08:002018-12-04T16:16:55.343+08:00Aku Mahu Pergi<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Aku Mahu Pergi<br />
<br />
Aku mahu pergi<br />
Pergi dengan harapan<br />
untuk menemukan kembali<br />
Diriku<br />
Yang hilang dalam satu malam<br />
<br />
Aku bukan meninggalkan<br />
sesiapa atau apa saja<br />
<br />
Aku mahu pergi<br />
Pergi dengan harapan<br />
untuk menemukan kembali<br />
Kewarasanku<br />
Tertinggal di jambatan<br />
yang kita seberangi<br />
<br />
Aku bukan meninggalkan<br />
sesiapa atau apa saja<br />
<br />
Aku mahu pergi<br />
Pergi dengan harapan<br />
untuk menemukan<br />
Kekuatan<br />
Untuk berdiri membuat keputusan<br />
Untuk bertahan kerana keputusan<br />
<br />
Aku bukan meninggalkan<br />
<br />
'Aini Aton<br />
4 Disember 2018<br />
Penghujung kuliah hidup tahun ini.</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-46928405521621898762018-04-27T17:19:00.001+08:002018-04-27T17:36:24.490+08:00Semua Yang Aku Takuti<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjne4HrD9N93Hlx5LVS5IRkSoYVSqDS02VFmiS8L1UFRLAgVFxtm2QOYrgbiFmqMr4uXiwpJbD9KJrFvCbKWdKKIGI2O-vllUHc8C5oHn3Har4hqj0qpxO4KdqmKOxy0zbTfJBFmz2Vnzo/s1600/PhotoGrid_1524819921937.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjne4HrD9N93Hlx5LVS5IRkSoYVSqDS02VFmiS8L1UFRLAgVFxtm2QOYrgbiFmqMr4uXiwpJbD9KJrFvCbKWdKKIGI2O-vllUHc8C5oHn3Har4hqj0qpxO4KdqmKOxy0zbTfJBFmz2Vnzo/s400/PhotoGrid_1524819921937.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Kamu</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Menjadikan aku</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Semua yang aku takuti</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Kamu</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Memaksa aku mencari berani</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Menjadi semua yang aku takuti</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Kamu</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Membuatkan aku mahu</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Menakluki semua ketakutan itu</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Dan menang kamu</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
~</div>
</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-46670108926482318912018-03-14T16:36:00.001+08:002018-03-14T16:36:23.410+08:00Bintang<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Kelelahan selepas hari yang panjang<br />
Aku merenung langit<br />
Gelap dan sunyi<br />
Tiada bintangkah?<br />
<br />
Dari bumi yang kecoh membangun<br />
Di langit yang pekat gelap<br />
Muncul satu kerlipan<br />
Umpama satu lambaian<br />
Yang kian mendekat<br />
Mengukir senyuman yang berseri-seri<br />
<br />
Dari satu kerlipan<br />
Sebutir bintang yang semakin galak<br />
Muncul sebutir lagi<br />
Dan sebutir lagi di sana<br />
Kemudian sebutir lagi di sini<br />
Seolah-olah kudengar mereka ketawa menyapa<br />
Memeriahkan langit yang tadinya gelap<br />
<br />
Seorang gadis yang awalnya<br />
Lenguh di merata sendi<br />
Tersenyum menemui apa yang dicari<br />
Lupa kekalutan kerja seharian<br />
Positif untuk esok yang tak terjangkakan<br />
<br />
'Aini Aton<br />
14 Mac 2018<br />
Kamu yang macam bintang<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-18784100351375689712018-03-09T18:37:00.000+08:002018-03-09T18:38:37.310+08:00Tamak<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Ada ketikanya kau mahu ucapkan</div>
Kata-kata yang tak mampu<br />
Kau ungkapkan<br />
Dalam penulisan<br />
Apatah lagi lisan<br />
<br />
Ada ketikanya kau hanya mahu difahami<br />
Akan perkara-perkara yang tak mampu<br />
Kau ungkapkan<br />
Dalam penulisan<br />
Apatah lagi lisan<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Ada ketikanya kau jadi tamak</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Dengan perasaan yang tak mampu</div>
Kau ungkapkan<br />
Dalam penulisan<br />
Apatah lagi lisan<br />
<br />
Lalu kau menjadi<br />
Seorang lagi manusia<br />
Yang mahu itu ini<br />
<br />
'Aini<br />
9 Mac 2018<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-51075173389268050132018-01-18T10:19:00.001+08:002018-01-18T15:17:04.034+08:00Kemungkinan Kita<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Aku dan kamu<br />
Yang ada hanya<br />
Angan-angan tentang<br />
Kemungkinan-kemungkinan<br />
<br />
Jika kita mahu<br />
Jika kau memilihku<br />
Jika aku menerimamu<br />
Jika seluruhnya bersama kita<br />
<br />
Sekadar angan-angan<br />
Tentang kemungkinan-kemungkinan<br />
<br />
Biar setakat itu sahaja<br />
<br />
Dengan seluruh kemampuanku<br />
Aku memilih<br />
Untuk tidak menjadikan<br />
Kemungkinan-kemungkinan itu<br />
Realiti<br />
Yang bahu kecilmu<br />
Mungkin tidak tertanggungkan<br />
Yang hati rapuhku<br />
Mungkin tidak tertahankan<br />
<br />
'Aini Aton<br />
18 Januari 2018<br />
Konfrontasi hati yang masih berjalan</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-91318947508562789202018-01-16T19:09:00.001+08:002018-01-18T17:19:13.477+08:00Ombak Itu Kamu III<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Bila pantai disapa ombak<br />
Ia teringat kepada laut<br />
Lautlah tempat ombak<br />
Di lautlah tanggungjawab ombak<br />
Luas dan mendalam<br />
<br />
Bukan di sisi pantai<br />
<br />
Mungkin<br />
Mungkin aku tidak patut<br />
Menamaimu ombak<br />
Kerana walaupun<br />
Ombak tidak dapat tinggal<br />
Ia akan tetap tiba di pantai<br />
<br />
Sedangkan kondisi kita<br />
Realitinya<br />
Tidak seharusnya<br />
Wujud perkaitan<br />
Seperti pantai dan ombak<br />
<br />
Dan aku<br />
Aku sejujurnya enggan menjadi<br />
Seperti pantai yang terkesan<br />
Oleh ombak<br />
Aku enggan menjadi penanti<br />
Ombak yang datang dan pergi<br />
<br />
Dan paling penting<br />
Aku tidak mahu bermimpi<br />
Apa yang bukan kepunyaanku<br />
<br />
'Aini Aton<br />
16 Januari 2017<br />
Masih konfrontasi hati<br />
Menghapus jejakmu</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-2058669962204508642018-01-15T12:57:00.001+08:002018-01-15T12:57:20.104+08:00Ombak Itu Kamu II<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Kamu ombak<br />
Sebahagian dari<br />
Lautan yang amat luas<br />
Aku pantai<br />
Cuma pinggiran kecil<br />
Dari daratan<br />
<br />
Pantai hanya persinggahan<br />
Sedangkan ombak tempatnya bersama laut<br />
Jelas sunnatullah untukmu<br />
<br />
Malah datangnya ombak<br />
Bukan kerana pantai<br />
Hanya mengikut aturanNya<br />
<br />
Deburan demi deburan<br />
Usahlah dibicarakan berlebihan<br />
Sedangkan buih-buih pun<br />
Tak dapat kekal<br />
<br />
Pun pantai<br />
Tempatnya bersama daratan<br />
Sesuai dengan sunnatullah untuknya<br />
<br />
Pasrah menghantar ombak<br />
Pulang ke pangkuan lautan<br />
<br />
'Aini Aton<br />
15 Januari 2018<br />
Konfrontasi hati</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-52699585873466110962018-01-12T17:15:00.001+08:002018-01-12T17:26:14.542+08:00Ombak Itu Kamu<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Umpama pantai<br />
Yang disinggahi ombak<br />
Lalu berlalu pergi<br />
Bersilih ganti<br />
<br />
Pantai itu hatiku<br />
Ombak itu perasaan<br />
yang dibawamu<br />
<br />
Sekejap<br />Mengubah pepasir<br />Membawa pelbagai isi lautan<br />
Terdampar<br />
<br />
Tapi aku pantai<br />
Perasaan itu ombak<br />
Yang menghempas<br />
Yang akan berlalu<br />
Pergi<br />
<br />
Ombak tidak dapat tinggal<br />
Pantai tidak dapat ikut pergi<br />
<br />
Takdir ombak dan pantai<br />
Sekadar begitu<br />
<br />
'Aini Aton<br />
12 Januari 2018<br />
Berpaling & berlalu<br />
<br /></div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-25952770471418759852017-05-24T17:58:00.002+08:002017-05-24T18:05:20.894+08:00Getting Out of the Slump<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJZxTNSBhe16bzxtfRzw0wKD9hPtKF_887DTO-A5WG4lxn_69BLV5D5U1mUWouRoQmA3CxTdLJl7aW5l9Zj7FhoiPWf2tjet0hcWbajQOqtsaoFz-zk3ceENdyqJ1-s4tPd-hjoBV1lOw/s1600/star-navigation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="428" data-original-width="610" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJZxTNSBhe16bzxtfRzw0wKD9hPtKF_887DTO-A5WG4lxn_69BLV5D5U1mUWouRoQmA3CxTdLJl7aW5l9Zj7FhoiPWf2tjet0hcWbajQOqtsaoFz-zk3ceENdyqJ1-s4tPd-hjoBV1lOw/s320/star-navigation.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: http://maximumsurvival.net/wp-content/uploads/star-navigation.jpg</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Sometimes I feel like crying will solve everything. When I feel like
that, I know I am in the slump - "The New Moon" slump. I called it
that because I am in a similar state as Bella Swan in The New Moon after Edward
Cullen left her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
"It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
"Normal memories were still dangerous. If I let myself slip up,
I’d end up with my arms clutching my chest to hold it together, gasping for
air..."<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
These.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It's hard to get out from this state, but I have bounce back before. It
took a lot of patience, a lot of determination, a generous amount of support,
and most importantly: a strong will.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The strongest will is fueled by living up to the purpose of our
creation - to submit and worship Allah.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Crying does solve everything; when you used up all your energy and cry
in your solat and doa.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It is always the darkest before the new moon. And stars are the
brightest during this time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I'll find my way - I assure myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-65268370976790575422017-03-02T22:47:00.001+08:002017-03-02T22:57:54.654+08:00That's The Way It Is<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpkNBGzJVAeakOOQ5mihp1PC2Mpd_mrFLzYaEyigZuUeaRhVaLzekpabxOkzxdnlYto__L2evuieloY8VaFIJ10Z_EbGq2RP3SfqYfG4DPocMLqFeRJelod32r1ZtzDeLkYiCx-sNYfVk/s1600/rainbow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpkNBGzJVAeakOOQ5mihp1PC2Mpd_mrFLzYaEyigZuUeaRhVaLzekpabxOkzxdnlYto__L2evuieloY8VaFIJ10Z_EbGq2RP3SfqYfG4DPocMLqFeRJelod32r1ZtzDeLkYiCx-sNYfVk/s1600/rainbow.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
E-M-N-O-V<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
That's all you need to spell "move on". Admittedly, it is not
that simple.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
7 years and I am still in "move on" mode. But -- I can assure
that I am "moving on" and I am making a progress.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I like to see this as a learning curve.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
We learn to love, we learn to trust, and then we learn about
heartbreak. Now we learn to nurse that heart. I discover a lot of thing about
myself in this 7 years. Well, it started off with much pain. Hahaha. But the
wisdom I gain from it is precious.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
One must continue living to experience it all.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The first thing to do is to acknowledge it. Yes I am going through this
and this. Yes I am feeling this and this. Mindfulness -- it's my new favorite
word. It means you're aware of your feeling.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you don't know where it hurts, you can't nurse it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Secondly, pick up and hold on to the positive element in your life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Buttttttt, do not involve in rebound thingy. It is because in moment
like this, it is easy to feel connected to people that fills in the hole in
your heart. Nope. We don't need that.<o:p></o:p><br />
What we need if something that motivates you, something that make you value life more. I choose to volunteer. I run. Anything -- anything that make you say: Hey there's a lot more good things I can do rather that crying my heart out.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Thirdly, focus on yourself, darling. Learn your lesson.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I used to plan and build my future around him. So when the unfortunate
event happened, a significant part of my world crumble. But a princess must
lift her head up so that the crown doesn't fall! Begins a new life. Be a new
you. Do things because you want it and put yourself first.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Next on the list is: stop looking back. If and only if the past come
sneaking on you, only remember the good stuff. Let go. Free yourself from the
grip. You don't forget by remembering the bad stuff. That is just a crazy opinion. It's tempting - believe me I know - not dump all the dirty laundry. But imagine this - what if you walk with tahi kucing all over your shoes. Would you be comfortable? He/she can't be that bad kan.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The last thing (at the moment) is to keep moving forward.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The quote say: Your speed doesn't matter. Forward is forward.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
All above doesn't happen immediately. Most of them were discovered
halfway through the 7 years until recently. I am pretty sure more is coming. It's called discovery for a reason.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
On top of all that, it's our choice to make this a journey of wisdom or
just another miserable thing that happen in our life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I believe that love is something that bring goodness to life. Even
after it ended.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Ok lah. That's it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Now let's continue living :)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Or lipat kain tu be exact.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Hehehe.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
By the way; this entry's subject is a song title. </div>
</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-31163705304199288702016-12-14T11:15:00.001+08:002016-12-14T11:15:06.600+08:00The Dejavu of a Surprise<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sesetengah manusia Allah anugerahkan dengan kelebihan tertentu. They are gifted. Kelebihan yang mereka sendiri tidak tahu kenapa mereka miliki, melainkan ia adalah kehendak Allah. Kehendak Allah semata-mata.<br />
Gerak hati atau instinct adalah salah hati dari kelebihan yang banyak. Some people just know. They just... know.<br />
Modern world always has this question: Is it a curse or a gift?<br />
Mana mungkin anugerah Allah satu sumpahan.<br />
Somehow, it show the way and bring them to places... places they need to go.<br />
Somehow, it prepares them.</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-72440469320743950332016-10-04T17:58:00.002+08:002016-10-04T17:58:54.523+08:00It's Just a Day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEAj2CBS00OAIQ6TgGFK3uMlyqi9cyWmpgDsBKrUWby-81IhvAF47CBvHrERI0YKW5cUK7B-K0iOy14XMmaMfRxOwrYiftIOlIXX46KIVAiy8Dx1tjBgV8LVGSyMQgDu_d83PvlWgZ5xI/s1600/baymax-hug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEAj2CBS00OAIQ6TgGFK3uMlyqi9cyWmpgDsBKrUWby-81IhvAF47CBvHrERI0YKW5cUK7B-K0iOy14XMmaMfRxOwrYiftIOlIXX46KIVAiy8Dx1tjBgV8LVGSyMQgDu_d83PvlWgZ5xI/s320/baymax-hug.jpg" width="215" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Today is another tough day. Well, it feels tougher - but I have survive
many days like this.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
A colleague blow up on me. I irate a colleague badly today. That's the
beginning of everything: people starts being honest and the truth come
flooding.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I don't know - I really don't know - how I could have offended other
people. I am the type who either stand in or walk away. I was scolded, I was
put on my place, and I have had arguments. I am aware of that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
But most of the time, I am just here, sitting at my cubicle, doing my
job. I thought if I talk less, comment less, gossip less, it would lessen the
probability of any inconvenience caused by my personality. Oh yes, I am aware
that I am a difficult person. That's why I choose to stay away from other
people when the going got tough.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
So self-aware and crying, I sent this to the closest colleague:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>If I have wronged you, tell me. So that I can apologize properly.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>If I have flaws, tell me. So that I can improve.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>Please do not resent me for what I am not aware of.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>I am sorry, I have wronged you. I am sorry, I have many flaws.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>I am sorry for the inconvenience you have experienced.</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
When I was told that I have no common sense and that I am 'over' (this
is via the incident), that I need to muhasabah more, that most people are not convenient
with me, and that's why people treat me differently (the only reply, so far),
now that is serious!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I started asking: What did I do?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
You know the feeling when you get a speeding ticket because you
exceeded the limit by 5 kmph? It feels like that. If I need to go through all
the pain before this, and then *this* pain, I might as well consciously act
carelessly kan. Then I deserve the beating.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Never mind. All this is bound to happen anyway. I meant to confront
them, but I was too afraid to eke out even a single syllable. I would have
cried badly, or even reacted miserably if I did it verbally. So today Allah
make it happen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It breaks my heart, but not that it is in good shape all this while
pun. That pain, this pain, it's just painful. I naturally want to run - it went
from taking a long leave to resigning my position. Typical Aini. As usual, I am
reminded that I can't run now, I can't outrun this type of event. It happens
anywhere, to everyone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am on that scary roller coaster of emotions now. I am trying very
hard to handle the denial phase positively. I am trying to contain myself from
finding faults in others. I won't let myself caught in blame game. I don't know
what to do, or how I can face everyone here without being reminded of the
feedback, but I plan to learn and improve myself - I plan to survive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Whatever Allah allow to happen, there’s goodness in it. It’s His call to
me – Aini dah jauh dari kebaikan, jadi Allah memanggil untuk kembali ke dalam
limpahan kasih sayangNya. When Allah tests a servant, Allah did not abandon
him. Allah will provide with whatever is needed to get through the test; as
well as to learn a great deal from it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
It’s time to lower yourself, Aini.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-89823232090832666022016-01-06T17:06:00.001+08:002016-01-06T17:07:44.926+08:00My Sister's Wedding<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Alhamdulillah, urusan pernikahan Fatin berjalan dengan lancar. So many
things happen within a short time. They were engaged in May, and around
October/November they decided to get married in December as per planned;
24/25th December to be exact, the busiest time of the year. I was typically
unhappy with the short notice, because I was being selfish, because I know I
can't commit 100% to the wedding preparation within that time frame. Tapi kalau
dah jodoh dan dah takdir macam tu...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
The date. Mak dan Abah bernikah dan kenduri pada tarikh yang sama.
Fatin even get a bridal outfit that is very similar to the one our parents wore
on their reception day - songket merah dengan bunga emas. Yes, I was aware the
whole time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Honestly, I was clueless. I don't know what to do. Masa Hakim kahwin,
Mak ada dan Mak was the one making plans and making things happened. Kami
mengikut je. When Abah re-married, erm, it was his second wedding... To that, I
go through a scary ride of emotional roller coaster.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRw_W7pQZstzi0I8wADTcdF83xO5a2qD0IfD80lpcjvdZKOU0tvgiJoRx8XEpDI7inVjku-3ilBwKGN6mcQNOT7mip8VndAU_tnNEwk8t0FALOc71ZYbs5SBXMruxIL_L9DKzC05tf1ms/s1600/12391321_10153884615684444_7626578176985177317_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRw_W7pQZstzi0I8wADTcdF83xO5a2qD0IfD80lpcjvdZKOU0tvgiJoRx8XEpDI7inVjku-3ilBwKGN6mcQNOT7mip8VndAU_tnNEwk8t0FALOc71ZYbs5SBXMruxIL_L9DKzC05tf1ms/s320/12391321_10153884615684444_7626578176985177317_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gambar terakhir sebelum nikah...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
No matter what happen, I just can't not try to give someone a good and
proper - if not perfect - wedding. This is my one and only sister. I know I can
do so much for her... but I can't help but think what Mak would do, and her
dreams. It breaks my heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I was a crying mess a short moment before the nikah. Masa tu saudara
mara serta sahabat handai sedang berkumpul di masjid. Dalam ramai aku rasa
kosong dan keseorangan. The whole world and all I need is for Mak to be there.
I wish Mak was there. I want Mak to be there. Tanpa Mak, segalanya jadi tidak
bermakna.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Bila seorang perempuan bernikah, semua tanggungjawab bapa serta saudara
lelakinya bertukar kepada suaminya. Mak's final wish was for me to take care of
my siblings. I don't know. I feel like I married off a daughter *and* a sister.
While hugging her, in between sobs, I manage to eked out that now her husband
is responsible for her, that I have fulfill Mak's final wish. Bercampur-campur
perasaan sedih dan lega.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
The truth is siblings will always be siblings. No matter the age, single
or married.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbf-rbkUQIoiq8mBqjYr6Db-6nqzypJ-dJM_ukcEzvwZWbELQcan5Cefw4YMCnRKBHQCzRj-oXMNIGQpHDrf5Z-41X6fq6FYaiCbrZM-UGRc7sKY4RuUqU7Um6yDKLY2AYKb0CmbBjCAA/s1600/1927697_10153884615864444_174896399614530687_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbf-rbkUQIoiq8mBqjYr6Db-6nqzypJ-dJM_ukcEzvwZWbELQcan5Cefw4YMCnRKBHQCzRj-oXMNIGQpHDrf5Z-41X6fq6FYaiCbrZM-UGRc7sKY4RuUqU7Um6yDKLY2AYKb0CmbBjCAA/s320/1927697_10153884615864444_174896399614530687_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Semoga Allah memberi barokah kepada kamu berdua~</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
My darling sister,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I am sorry I can't give you a lavish wedding. I am sorry I can't manage
your wedding better. I am sorry I am not the best sister to you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Baraka Allahu lakuma, Wa baraka 'alaykuma, Wa jama'a baynakuma Fi khayr. May Allah bless everything for you two, and shower His
blessings upon the two of you, and may he bring you together in everything that
is good.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Semoga Allah memberkati dan memberi barokah kepada rumahtanggamu, adik.</div>
</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-12926628967948002272015-11-25T12:59:00.002+08:002015-11-25T15:16:06.571+08:00A Note to Myself<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
When I broke up, I leave everything - I mean *everything* - behind and
move on. Today, that is the stupidest decision I made. I should have stayed in
that dimension, make gallons of lemonade, and keep being awesome in something I
am good at. He broke my heart and made me cry, and I let go all possible
opportunities because I want to disconnect from him. Nope. It doesn't sound so
cool. Anyway, it was one of the hardest moments in my life. I was getting rid
as many as I can from my sinking ship. I survive and I get another chance in
life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Today I almost make the same mistake. I almost walk away from another
dimension just because it gets more acidic from the lemons thrown at me - a
partner is giving me a hard time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
*stomping my feet*, *chin up*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
This is *my* world. I have work hard for this. I am not going to stop
and step away just because some people makes it little harder.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I refuse to do that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
It will be painful, I will cry, and I might need more counselling
session. I'll take that. I am going to take up the beating rather than feeling
stupid in the future. Once is enough.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Those people, they will say whatever they want to say, they will do
whatever they want to do. They *never* mean to hurt you. But who are we kidding
- it still hurts.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
We only have ourselves to care. People who make you undergo hard times
are not worthwhile for anything other than to make you a better person.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Take it as a challenge, *be* a better you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Be scared, do it scared, take the step and cross the threshold.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
As long as you stay alive, you still have options to choose. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Don’t hate, love them anyway. And love yourself more. Be selfish in
that sense.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
Here. Have some lemonade.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-6139626704499661472015-11-25T10:55:00.001+08:002015-11-25T10:55:28.380+08:00Rainbow Make Me Cry<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrWqxzBZSdMVwScMJxW31Yxyn9rZFfIfksZt3OR8B0MRnxlxTgWnH1-V2C8len8bBxlpX8mYxSyX07CXiKOLgrSmQn6QpldPmN74tyL6ZQl87sub2KjwHMsGw8mCG27OjIODU8NKdm5Ds/s1600/rainbow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrWqxzBZSdMVwScMJxW31Yxyn9rZFfIfksZt3OR8B0MRnxlxTgWnH1-V2C8len8bBxlpX8mYxSyX07CXiKOLgrSmQn6QpldPmN74tyL6ZQl87sub2KjwHMsGw8mCG27OjIODU8NKdm5Ds/s1600/rainbow.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Menangis.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Menangis sebab lepas hujan pagi ni pelangi tak kelihatan. I want to
stay in my car longer and wait for it, but duty call. Adakah aku menangis
kerana tak nampak pelangi dalam ruang waktuku, or did I cried because I can't
have the extra waiting time to wait for a rainbow?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Pelangi bukan sentiasa muncul setiap kali lepas hujan. Am I going to
cry every time?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Hujan diturunkan bukan untuk mencipta pelangi. Hujan diturunkan oleh
Maha Pencipta untuk menghidupkan bumi.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
There's rainbow forming somewhere, anyway; with or without rain.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Hold on there, dear darling. Hold on a little longer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Masa gembira bukan selamanya. So does bad times.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-45438936009720226272015-11-23T17:19:00.000+08:002015-11-23T17:19:57.584+08:00100 KM and First Runniversary<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNua-DKHBRCXHA1SGjGc0n3CZzC_jOMv7HPxgMD9JxjBaPKCUTSV8LZtQyzSyrmP8DHm7SwythIQyjJW8WSkVF-05TFl07AkgBPQR2w5DwYnrDym0xphttPCvIbz-AohugSkSIB6Barf4/s1600/moment.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNua-DKHBRCXHA1SGjGc0n3CZzC_jOMv7HPxgMD9JxjBaPKCUTSV8LZtQyzSyrmP8DHm7SwythIQyjJW8WSkVF-05TFl07AkgBPQR2w5DwYnrDym0xphttPCvIbz-AohugSkSIB6Barf4/s320/moment.png" width="319" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Alhamdulillah. I achieve my 100 kilometers running target. Yeay! And
it's my one year running anniversary. Another yeay! I can't believe I have run
the distance and one year have passed. Rasa macam baru je mula berlari.
Seriously.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><span style="color: red;">Why I run?</span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I started running because I want to manage and contribute to Revert
Sports Club (RSC) properly. If I can't understand the runners' need, I can't
find the opportunity to contribute and to improve. Asking and observing will do
the job, but what's the use of going to Gemba Kaizen course if I can't do this
much. Yep, too serious kan? Oh well, if I am going to do something for dakwah,
I better do my best. Ini kan ibadah, I thought.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><span style="color: red;">Running Evolution</span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
"This is my final run"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
"I won't run that much"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
"I'll just be the luggage/water girl"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Jawatan yang akhir tu sampai hari ni tak dapat!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
After a while, running is no longer RSC business. I conciously decide
that running will be a part of me. I actually learn many things from running.
Siap dengan falsafahnya. Bunyi derap kaki berlari (baca: joging) umpama sembang
yang rancak. Lepas beberapa ketika, bunyi degup jantung menjadi perlahan dan
fikiran jadi fokus. It's the heart that is complicated. Muahahahaha. Muscle
pain and blisters? It’s the reminder to appreciate health and stay fit. To be
grateful to Allah. Hehehe. I believe I am the type who thinks well when I am on
the road. A true street philosopher? Meh~<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
You can run alone. But running together is much more thrilling than
running alone. Walaupun berlari seorang diri, atau ketinggalan jauh di
belakang, rasa teruja mengenangkan ada kawan-kawan menanti di akhir garisan -
priceless. Runners are known to be very supportive. So you know you always have
the support you need, walaupun dari individu yang tak dikenali. That, together
with the adrenaline, is a good combo for life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><span style="color: red;">Keep Running</span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA9oNOa8zF8N-ai2tqDXfVpOlrtFtyF45ny68tlsm6ZYqNYyxGLkCRmFUymdQfmZTrfhoDx7iN8aING9jeaFAwv7cHCJQovnZPimDBbHcu2LucaAJAAOJjWi2kUEdZ-zzffVRJhr04R_0/s1600/12243349_783260321802799_8683931647596859333_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA9oNOa8zF8N-ai2tqDXfVpOlrtFtyF45ny68tlsm6ZYqNYyxGLkCRmFUymdQfmZTrfhoDx7iN8aING9jeaFAwv7cHCJQovnZPimDBbHcu2LucaAJAAOJjWi2kUEdZ-zzffVRJhr04R_0/s200/12243349_783260321802799_8683931647596859333_n.jpg" width="160" /></a><o:p> </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Selepas setahun - masih berjogging, masih tiada perancangan untuk
personal best, masih tiada improvement plan. But somebody told me that slow or
fast, a mile *is* a mile. Hehehe. So I'll keep on running. Maybe in the future,
while running certain kilometers, I will decide on something. Besides, you
can't just stop loving something *just like that*. Did I say "love"?
Wow. Where is 'Aini?! :p<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b><span style="color: red;">Dear RSC: My family and running partners...</span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
(I wrote it while remembering Meghan Trainor's Dear Future Husband)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
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Hmmmm. Let see.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="background-color: #674ea7;">Thank you. You are everything a beginner needs to take the first step
and run, you are everything a runner needs to endure the run and cross the
finishing line.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #674ea7;">That's it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #674ea7;">No, you don't want to know how much I love you and miss you and always
want to spend time with you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #674ea7;">Let's end the speech just like this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #674ea7;">:)</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="color: red;">Future Running</span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Semoga Allah beri kesempatan, kelapangan, kemudahan, dan kesihatan
untuk berlari di masa hadapan. Semoga Allah masih izinkan untuk berdakwah
bersama-sama RSC dengan cara ini. Semoga Allah beri berkat inisiatif RSC.
Semoga Allah permudahkan urusan semua runner yang berlari dengan Allah dalam
hati.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><u>Footnote</u>:<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>It's supposed to be a warmth moment to share with my darlings.
Unfortunately, I had an episode of emotional avalanche while two important people
in my running life - one is dealing her own difficult time (we still run
together but I'm giving her the space) and another one can't decide if he is
still upset with me (my fault...).<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>I can't have proper celebration without you.</i><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210924605490693606.post-61196728183998098292015-11-20T17:06:00.001+08:002015-11-20T17:08:24.890+08:00A Peaceful Dreamless Sleep<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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When you have cried too much, when you have endure all types of pain,
all you want to do is run and curl up into a ball somewhere far from everybody.
There's a sharp pain in your chest - your heart is crushed - you need to hug
yourself because it feels like you are going to lost control. You clenched your
hands; holding on to the last bit of hope to stop you from falling off the
ledge.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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You close your eyes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hoping to undo a lot of things. Wanting to erase scenes you no longer
have the courage to revisit. Desperate to forget moments that is too painful to
remember.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Hopefully when you wake up, it was a peaceful dreamless sleep.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
'Ainihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05540119712541938962noreply@blogger.com0