Monday, August 30, 2010

Crush

Assalamualaikum,

It is normal to have a crush on the opposite gender.
People have crush on opposite gender all the time.
(^_^)v

Okay, after 6 years I accidentally 'found' my crush. He marries his one and only campus-girlfriend [that I know] and they have a lovely daughter. He's still the same person and the person I pictured him to be - loving, romantic, a good husband, and a guy with a career he loves. It was a great feeling to know that at least I was right about one guy on this earth. And I am happy for his wife and I still believe they belong together.

Thinking back, my crushes - not that I have much - ended up great! Those were good guys I met all these years and they take that responsibility.
Irony, ha? Hahahaha.
I see rainbow above their wives and I know someone is seeing a rainbow above me, too.
Again, this is a call. There are good people out there and happiness is not a fairytale.

It's just not my time yet.
One day, InsyaAllah, I'll have those pictures!

Wassalam

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

Assalamualaikum,

Hari Ahad diisi dengan menonton Leftenan Adnan dan kemudian 1957 Hati Malaya pada sebelah malamnya di televisyen. Hati tersentuh dan menangis.

Aku selalu tunggu Leftenan Adnan. Ada isi dan erti perjuangan di situ. Kesempatan membaca dan menyelidik tentang beliau ketika menyiapkan folio Sejarah amat berharga. Seorang lelaki bernama Leftenan Adnan berjuang sehingga ke titisan darah yang terakhir mempertahankan tanah airnya -- sehingga hanya berbekalkan bayonet berdepan dengan peluru.

"Sejarah Melayu membuktikan kita pernah menakluk nusantara, kita mampu membina empayar besar, mampu membuat kapal-kapal besar... lebih besar daripada Flora de la Mar milik Portugis. Itu sebelum kita dijajah. Orang lain nampak kelebihan kita, kehebatan kita, sebab itu mereka takut bila kita nak menuntut hak kita. Betapa susahnya Paduka Seri Sultan Perak, Yamtuan Besar Negeri Sembilan, Raja Chulan, dan Undang Luak Rembau memperjuangkan untuk menubuhkan Askar Melayu... kerana mereka tahu Melayu yang merdeka mampu menggegarkan dunia. Ingat! Bangsa Melayu bangsa bebas dan berdaulat dan bangsa Melayu juga yang mencipta pepatah biar putih tulang jangan putih mata..."

"Jangan kita korbankan seorang tentera yang sedang dibakar dengan api kemarahan. Jika ada sepuluh lagi tentera seperti dia, tentera Jepun mungkin memerlukan sepuluh lagi divisyen untuk menakluk Malaya".

1957 Hati Malaya apatah lagi.
Kalau yang menonton hati tak tersentuh, tak rasa insaf, memang hati keras agaknya. Berjuang demi memerdekan negara dan bangsa! Babak paling menyentuh hati tentulah babak Tunku mengaku yang UMNO kekurangan dana untuk menghantar wakil ke London. Tunku memajakkan hartanya untuk tabung dana UMNO; "... nak bayaq yuran pun ahli tak mampu", betapa susahnya perjuangan pada zaman itu. Tapi bila sama-sama susah, sama-sama mahu merdeka, kita bangun dan bersatu, kita cari jalan dan haluan. Satu lagi babak penting, bila rumah Tunku bocor. Ini memang disebut dalam satu dokumentari mengenai Tunku; Tunku sangat marah dan bertekad Malaya mesti merdeka segera. Terasa sungguh maruah dipermainkan di bumi sendiri; "... before I put you off my country in two years time", begitu kata Tunku.

Untuk seketika, aku berharap setiap rakyat Malaysia pada hari ini mempunyai api perpaduan dan melihat harga sebuah kemerdekaan seperti mereka yang berjuang untuk kemerdekaan... merasai perasaan mereka yang melihat Union Jack diturunkan... merasai kecintaan mereka yang melihat Jalur Gemilang dan menyanyikan Negaraku untuk pertama kalinya... merasai kemenangan mereka yang melaungkan Merdeka! bersama Tunku.
Aku berharap kita pada hari ini untuk sesaat merasai bahang nikmatnya merdeka pada 31 Ogos 1957.

Semangat itu dah luntur. Jalur Gemilang itu hanya kain bercorak, Negaraku sekadar mainan dan merdeka itu tidak bererti selain satu sambutan... Bagaimana dari susur galur pejuang dan pencinta kemerdekaan lahir generasi yang serba lupa, itu untuk kita fikir-fikirkan. Ini tanah air kita, tanah tumpahnya darah... Ini tanah pusaka kita. Kenapa kita nak goncang bumi tempat berpijak?

Aku mungkin bukan yang paling patriotik, aku mungkin salah seorang yang hanya patriotik pada bulan kemerdekaan. Tapi, jadilah siapa kamu ingin jadi dan pergilah ke mana kamu ingin pergi. Tapi jangan lupa jati diri. Jangan digadai agama dan negara. Ingat, harga sebuah kemerdekaan itu mahal: ada hati hati yang terluka dan ada pengorbanan yang kita sendiri mungkin tak ingin persetujui.

Bersempena ulangtahun kemerdekaan Malaysia ke-53, aku memanjatkan kesyukuran kepada Maha Penyayang. Semoga Allah terus merahmati Malaysia sebagai negara yang merdeka untuk selama-lamanya.
Ya Allah, rahmatilah negara kami Malaysia dengan limpahan kasih sayang-MU.

Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku. Rakyat hidup bersatu dan maju. Rahmat bahagia Tuhan kurniakan. Raja kita selamat bertakhta... Rahmat bahagia Tuhan kurnikan. Raja kita selamat bertakhta.

Wassalam.

TANAH PUSAKA
Allahyarham Sudirman, Sharon Wong & Mani Mala

Sungguh gemilang negeriku
Yang kupuja oh tanah airku
Di merata dunia
Harum semerbak namamu oh Malaysia

Aman makmur kaya-raya
Selama-lama hidup maju jaya
Oh tanah pusaka
Negaraku yang berdaulat dan merdeka

Tanah pusaka bertuah
Berbagai bangsa di dalamnya
Hidup aman dan berjaga
Bertekun kerja dan berjasa

Musuh melanggar kugempur
Sungguh rela kugugur kerana
Kau tanah pusaka
Biar putih tulang jangan putih mata



Friday, August 27, 2010

Pendidikan Cinta


Assalamualaikum,

Hari Jumaat hari yang penuh barakah. Tambah-tambah lagi pada 17 Ramadhan hari ini.

"My sweetheart, if you want to build a family, a faithful one, you can never build it on what Allah has stated as wrong and proven false by the way Rasulullah p.b.u.h has taught us. A happy and blessed family comes from Allah, and you don't even have anything to defend it as blessed if the first step you make is by stepping into what He has prohibited."

"You can't have a happy family if Allah doesn't help you so, and you must know in every family that stands until their dying day, they have Allah on their side. You can't expect Him to help you if you did the wrong step from the very beginning."

Excerpt dari "Nasihat Ibu Tentang Cinta".

Subhanallah. Seolah-olah satu perkhabaran...
Dah lama aku tak dengar nasihat sebegini. I have heard about it before this; I couldn't recall where or by whom. But the statement rings inside me all these years. Tiada rahmat dari sesuatu yang dimulai dengan sesuatu yang tidak baik. Jika asasnya sudah tidak baik, bagaimana keseluruhannya akan menjadi baik.

"It's not me who want you to make a decision like this, but Allah tells you so."

Yes, I do believe that.

Allah...
KepadaNYA aku lebih bersyukur kerana membebaskan aku dari perkara sebegini. Sungguh seperti kata penulis, kini hidup terasa lebih tenang. Bukanlah bermaksud kisah dahulu kisah yang gelap, tidak. Dan bukan juga sekadar pemanis rasa untuk menutup kekecewaan, juga tidak. Nevermind, Allah knows.

This is from a novel: "Cinta hanya untuk Yang Khaliq. Selainnya hanya mainan perasaan."

Kata seorang ustazah dalam Seminar Puteriku Sayang di UNIMAS: "Tidak ada istilah cinta antara lelaki dan perempuan dalam Islam... Kalau bercinta juga, jangan jadikan cinta itu lagha, melalaikan. Kalau melalaikan, wajarlah dihentikan."

Aku hanya manusia di tengah-tengah keriuhan dunia…

Tapi Allah itu Maha Bijaksana dan Maha Pemurah.
Ya Allah, tunjukilah kami jalan yang Engkau redhai.
Ya Allah, permudahkanlah kami menjalankan perintahMU.

Wassalam.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

150 Juta

Assalamualaikum,

Hari ini saya jatuh chenta...
Jatuh chenta dengan lagu 150 Juta nyanyian Fynn Jamal. The lyric is cute and honest and very innocent. Rasanya semua yang berchenta tentu faham perasaan macam ni. Memang, 150 juta kali ditanya pun jawapan kita tetap sama. Selalu sahaja ada rasional dan toleransinya. [Agak rindu keadaan yang begitu, har har har :p]

The memories weren't that bad. At least I know I am honest when I gave those answer. Itu memang apa yang mata nampak dan hati lihat.

Selamat mendengar dan selamat mengenang masa-masa tersebut! (^_^)
Wassalam.

150 Juta
Fynn Jamal

Untuk kali keseratus lima puluh juta
Mereka tanyakan engkau soalan yang sama
“Eh kenapa kau masih lagi mahukan dia?”
“Apa kau buta, apa kau pura-pura suka”

Di seratus lima puluh juta kali itu
Di depan semua engkau tarik tangan aku
Yang sedang buat muka kosong tak ambil tahu
Sambil ketawa engkau bilang satu per satu

“Dia mungkin bengis seperti singa”
“Tapi dia nangis tonton cerita Korea”
“Dia mungkin keras bila bersuara”
“Tapi dia jelas, jujur apa adanya”
“Aku lagi kenal dia”

Dah lebih seratus lima puluh juta kali
Aku pesan padamu apa yang bakal jadi
Engkau dan aku ada mungkin tidak serasi
Engkau sangat manis, aku ini pula dawai besi

Di setiap seratus lima puluh jutanya
Aku pun dalam hati semacam tak percaya
Apa kau lihat pada aku jujurkan saja
Terus kau cubit dagu aku, sambil berkata

“sayang mungkin baran tak kira masa
tapi sayang tahan kalau salahnya saya
sayang mungkin saja keras kepala
tapi sayang manja bila kita berdua–
saya kenal sayang saya”

Buat apa dicerita
Bahagia kita rasa
Biar tak dipercaya
Peduli orang kata

Baju ronyok tak apa
Asal pakai selesa
Berkilau tak bermakna
Kalau hati tak ada

Aku lebih bengis dari sang naga
Tapi bisa nangis semata demi cinta
Suaraku keras tak berbahasa
Kerna aku rimas gedik mengada-ngada

Aku mudah baran tidak semena
Mana boleh tahan angin cemburu buta
Dan aku sengaja tunjuk keras kepala
Aku punya manja, kau saja boleh rasa

Rahsia kita berdua..



Tuesday, August 17, 2010

As-Syifa -- Setahun!

Assalamualaikum,

Hari ini kami sekeluarga bersyukur atas izin Allah, Cahya Laila As-Syifa genap setahun. Masa pantas berlalu! Semoga Allah merahmati usia As-Syifa dan mengizinkan kami menyayanginya untuk satu tempoh masa lagi. Didoakan semoga As-Syifa membesar menjadi srikandi yang memperjuang dan mempertahankan panji-panjiNYA.

Wassalam.

Her first picture, few hours after her birth last year. Captured and sent by my brother.

My first picture of As-Syifa, captured when I goes home to meet her for the first time. I wrote an entry about her.


My only picture with As-Syifa...


Syifa bertudung... Captured and sent by my sister in-law.

As-Syifa and her walker.


As-Syifa wearing the dress I bought her.


More pictures of her [^_^] Inilah yang berlaku bila As-Syifa ada Mak Long yang obses menggunakan kamera :p


Sunday, August 15, 2010

Not Worth...

Assalamualaikum,

What is not going to happen and have no possibility to happen at all is not worth to try and to think. Even there exists the tiniest possibility, as long as it is hard to do, then it is still not worth to try and to think.

Don’t start a fire. Fire burns everything in its way.
Wassalam.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Princess 13

Assalamualaikum,

Once upon a time, words were said and promises were made, bound with the spell of Friday the 13th. Eyes to eyes, heart to heart, but the Lord's plan can't be denied. Thus a Princess's heart bleed and a Knight lost his shiny armor. Two hearts beat their separate way, following what their Lord will. Millions of years here come another Friday the 13th. The Princess awakes and shed tears, for her broken heart still bleed. To shed tears over broken words, she’s not proud. For time move on, memories fade, new future created… and Princess refuse to stay. Over passing time she cast a spell and seals it with a promise she would try to keep: “Give this heart a year to find her way, to understand what is hurting her and to find the remedy she needs”.

Wassalam.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Klik! Klik! Train Girl @ Lost World of Tambun

Assalamualaikum,

Since Maz, Ikmal and Kamal were hooked up to their swimming activity, I spent my time alone capturing visitors' expression -- most of the time chasing children. Hehehe. Later in the evening, I decide to ride the train. Fortunately, the carriage in front of me was hosted by a family with a daughter. This lovely girl was shy, but after the first click she posed naturally for me. I am so grateful!

Chasing children was hectic but fun. You might get lucky and get to capture priceless emotions. But there disadvantages -- you might have to face parents' reaction [it was satisfying if parents let you take their child's picture] and you can get unlucky and what you chased turn into something you don't like.

My experience with this lovely girl was priceless. When children look back to you and let you take their pictures, nothing could compare the feeling.

I wish there's a way to thank her...So here are the pictures of her -- all with different pose and expression…
Wassalam.




Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Klik! Klik! Children

Assalamualaikum,

These children were so nice for allowing me to take their pictures. It is a satisfaction to be able to freeze these moments.
Sejuk hati memandang budak-budak ni…

Wassalam.

Picture 1
This lovely girl was attending SCH Wajadiri 2010 at KUIN, Alor Setar, Kedah. This is my first shot of her. I did not notice it, but her dress is exactly like mine. Coincidence? I'd say it was a sweet one!

Picture 2
Rini and I were testing our new DSLR at Teluk Tempoyak and this lovely girl was at the nearby playground with her mother and brother. My first shot on her as well. I love her expression.


Picture 3
These two boys were sitting on a slide. Upon seeing me with my D5000, they too, cooperate and allow me to capture this moment.


Picture 4 and 5
A group of boys was digging sand -- sounds like boys to me. Hehehe. They were so happy that I can't help but try my best to capture their smile and giggles. Of course, they were all okay but towards the end they tried to involve me in their sand-throwing game. Aha! Not a chance :p

Monday, August 2, 2010

[T_T]


How Are You Lately?
By S.H.E

Pick up a Christmas card
Fill it with best wishes
Address it to the heart
Can you receive it?
Weather is a bit cold, wind is a bit strong
The city is quiet with the noise
This winter
I have to go home alone

Ask myself if I've gotten used to it?
The nights without you
The echo becomes so loud
Is there a good way
To quiet the loneliness

How are you lately?
Are you also struggling inside?
You said you would remember me, remember?
How are you lately?
Are you busy? Does your heart still hurt?
If you have to, forget me
Quickly head for your happiness

Regardless how much I care
I don't have the right to ask
Ex-lover's greetings
Are more awkward than a stranger's
Yesterday is far, tomorrow is long
Memories are blurry yet huge
The tears in this dark night
How to stop them from falling?

Ask myself if I've gotten used to it?
The nights without you
The echo becomes so loud
Is there a good way
To quiet the loneliness

How are you lately?
Are you also struggling inside?
You said you would remember me, remember?
How are you lately?
Are you busy? Does your heart still hurt?
If you have to, forget me
Quickly head for your happiness

How are you lately?
Are you also struggling inside?
You said you would remember me, remember?
How are you lately?
Are you busy? Does your heart still hurt?
If you have to, forget me, quickly head for your happiness

....

Inception: Movie Review


Assalamualaikum,

I must thank Mrs. Huy for mentioning about Inception to me. I am not Mr. DiCaprio's fan after Titanic -- hate his hair in Man in the Iron Mask -- while she is so fond of him. Her excitement leads me to do my research on the movie and luckily I love what I found. So here's what I think about Inception [while it already swept every movie lover and Rotten Tomatoes rate it 86%].

First of all, I'd like to say that I love this movie so much. I enjoy it even though I missed few minutes of the beginning [an obvious reason to watch it again]. Most of it because I am a Cognitive Science graduates and the idea of subconscious mind security thrilled me. The other was just me loving this kind of genre -- movie that gives other headache. So it was fun!

I think Inception was still too simple for something as mysterious as our subconscious mind. The idea of having a physical device to invade / share dream was not captivating to me. I did not see the connection of the device with the existence of dreams -- the device was attached to physical body, i.e.: wrist for in this movie, but dream is an activity happen in the brain. [I am hearing Dr. Tan's question: "what is your argument that dreams really happen and that it even happen in the brain" -- Philosophy of the Mind's class] The use of chemical cocktail was acceptable; a good base actually. Being unconscious would definitely helps a lot when you are manipulating subconscious mind.

Ariadne's training with Cobb and Arthur. [Ariadne, even her name is significant. Google it!]

The idea of creating dreams and then influencing subconscious mind through it works for me. I always believe that the best way to influence a mind is when the mind did not realized what's being injected into it. Traditionally, the world of psychology used hypnosis, or brainwash to the extreme. The more you know about your mind subject, the more vulnerable it becomes. All you have to do is say the right thing at the right time and you'll have an open door before you. But, Cobb advised Ariadne not to create something from the mind's memory. He have a point when sometimes certain memories could awake the unconscious mind :D

The best part is, Inception did consider the mind's response towards invasion and the fact that mind can defend herself. The first example would be when Cobb's mind reacted to Ariadne's architecture that was built from his memories. That was how the mind awakens and most of the time by a very significant memories such as sadness and happiness. Fischer's mind on the other hand not just response to Cobb and his team, he also defenses himself by fighting back. This is the situation where hypnosis failed. They mention that Fischer most probably was well trained in mind security. That was another interesting detail -- it is a learn skill, after all.

"You create the world of the dream. We bring the subject into that dream and fill it with their subconscious. (...) See dreams, they feel real while we're in them right? It's only when we wake up then we realize that something was actually strange! (...) You never really remember the beginning of the dream, do you? You always wind up right in the middle of what's going on."

Mal's reminiscence in Cobb's mind.

We all store our memories in various ways. For me, I see my memories stored in boxes and behind doors. For Cobb, his memories of Mal stored in levels accessible by elevator. I was fond with the idea that Cobb trapped Mal in those levels and how Mal could have the ability to sabotage Cobb's mind. I am not sure how my unwanted memories were stored, I just know they are there, trapped somewhere somehow.

"She locked away a secret, deep inside herself, something she once knew to be true... but chose to forget", said Cobb referring to how Mal was too fascinated with their dream world. We all locked something inside ourselves and some of us did live inside that world they believe to be true.

The 3 layers dream during the Inception.

The idea was complicated -- it gave me mild headache and a pounding heart -- and amazing. Again, my mind can't digest the appropriateness of the device. If the existence of dream is questionable, it was impossible to 'carry' the device into two layers of dream, wouldn't it? But if I see and think this on the other way -- it is possible if the team register the device, how it function and it significance in their mind, then mind could make it real in its own environment. [I sound like a mad psychologist]

Cobb, Mal, the kids and the ending.

"What's the most resilient parasite? An Idea. A single idea from the human mind can build cities. An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules. Which is why I have to steal it."

Cobb's confession over the inception he did to Mal explains a lot of thing -- why Mal's reminiscence appear to be revengeful and always sabotaging Cobb. I was confuse why Cobb have that kind of memories about the one woman he loved. It was all Cobb's guilt -- the inception she did to Mal that saved her from the limbo world and then turns out to be what's killing her. Without realizing it, the audience was brought into a guilt mind. The scene where Cobb let Mal go was as heartbreaking as when Cobb hold on to it.

The faces of Cobb’s kids were never showed during the movie. So I cried when Cobb finally got to see their faces. There were arguments whether Cobb really awake or still stuck in another dream. He spins his totem but did not wait to be sure whether he is still dreaming or not -- distracted by the rush of emotion. I don't care. If in dream they got to be together, then Cobb might as well live in there.

Congratulations to Mr. Nolan for having courage to write and for making this movie happen. Inception is next to A Beautiful Mind and I have to say that I am among mind-people that could love Nolan for Inception. It was an overwhelming experience to see how he brought subconscious mind to screen. To say that he was 100% right would be unrealistic, though. But Nolan got the general idea, yes.

Two thumbs up for Mr. DiCaprio. He played Cobb well. I guess Mrs. Huy was right, DiCaprio is a good actor and he is capable of bringing the character to life. He manage to put himself as an Extractor, a husband who love and lost his wife to what he is good at and a father who misses his children. He awed the audience with his skill and break hearts in his memories of Mal and his kids. Arthur played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt is another character I love. I just love him, for being Arthur. No other reason.

In Cognitive Science, I learnt that a mind works mostly similar to a computer -- intellectual abilities did not falls under this theory. Meaning, as long as you know what you need to do, what you are doing and where to find it, the 10% of your brain could be more than enough.

Learn about your mind and be in control.
Wassalam.